Why I Held a Dinner Party With the Dead

"The seeds for the dinner were planted in the soup aisle of the supermarket, when I stumbled on an onion soup mix that had a picture of apricot chicken on the box. I looked at the photo and could have sworn I actually smelled the sweet, tangy chicken I grew up calling "sloppy chicken." It was my mother's specialty, and she made it at least once a week when I was a child. I wanted to taste my mother's chicken again, to fill my kitchen with that particular smell that felt like home. So I threw the mix in my cart, gathered the rest of the ingredients listed in the recipe, and went home to re-create my mother's meal."

"For many of us, food represents so much more than the sum of its parts, becoming one of the most powerful ways back to a specific person, time, or place - not simply through calling memories to mind, but through engaging our senses. Smell is particularly powerful because it's one of our most primitive senses and has direct connections to the limbic system, a part of the brain involved in emotion and memory."

"Grief is incredibly isolating, and sharing a meal can be a way to connect. When prepared and eaten with intention, food can be a gateway to our loved ones' stories. Food is so embedded in our culture, the essence of our rituals and traditions. We use food to celebrate, to comfort, and to mark important moments."

An onion soup mix sparked a dinner meant to reconnect with lost family members. The goal was to recreate a childhood meal associated with a mother’s “sloppy chicken,” using the specific smell that felt like home. Food can represent more than ingredients by engaging senses and pulling people back to particular times and places. Smell is especially powerful because it links directly to the limbic system, which supports emotion and memory. Grief can be isolating, and sharing a meal can create connection. When prepared and eaten with intention, food can serve as a gateway to loved ones’ stories.

Read at Psychology Today