You Have 500 LinkedIn Connections. Why Can't You Ask Them For Help?

"The email to that alum you met at the networking event last month has been sitting in your drafts for two weeks. You've rewritten the subject line four times. You've debated whether "following up" sounds too pushy or "circling back" sounds too corporate. Your finger hovers over send, and then you close your laptop instead. Maybe tomorrow. You did everything right."

"You built your LinkedIn network past 500 connections. You connected with alumni, former colleagues, friends of friends. You attended networking events, had coffee chats, sent thank-you notes. Your network is impressive, full of experienced professionals at top companies who could genuinely help you. You also know the stats: 80% of professionals say networking is crucial to career success. 70% of jobs aren't even posted publicly; they're filled through personal connections. You understand that your network is supposed to be the key to finding opportunities and building your career."

"You have the network. That's not the problem. The problem is you can't bring yourself to ask for help. Why Asking Feels Impossible Asking for help is legitimately difficult, especially if you're a young professional with little experience. You don't know what to say. You're convinced they'll say no. You might even believe that asking is itself a sign of weakness. The discomfort isn't just in your head. Research shows that the internal emotional experience of asking for help-or even thinking about asking for help-activates the same brain regions as physical pain. The difficulty is real. The irony however is that people drastically underestimate how willing people are to provide help. You're suffering through discomfort to avoid a conversation that the other person would actually be happy to have."

Many young professionals build extensive networks yet hesitate to use them because asking for help feels difficult. Drafted outreach often sits unsent due to worry over phrasing, perceived pushiness, or fear of rejection. Networking work—LinkedIn connections, alumni contacts, events, coffee chats, and thank-you notes—creates valuable opportunities because most jobs rely on personal connections. Psychological and neuroscientific evidence shows that anticipating requests for help activates brain regions associated with physical pain, making avoidance understandable. People generally overestimate others' reluctance, since many are willing to assist. Reducing the scope and specificity of requests can lower barriers and improve outreach success.

Read at Forbes