I Work at a University. Unfortunately, I Have a Big Crush on a Student.

A recent hire at a university describes being a young staffer who works alongside undergraduate and graduate students. A student hired as a temporary summer employee became the object of a strong workplace crush and was rehired for the new semester. The staffer asks whether asking the student out would be unethical, noting no direct supervisory relationship and no known employee-employee fraternization policy. The recommended primary consideration is whether a power imbalance exists, since the institution privileges student status over employee role. The staff position creates more institutional power while the student-employee has institutional protections. The advice is to consult the university human resources office to determine applicable rules.

"Thanks for being so thoughtful about work crushes. They're so common but so complicated! In general, the most important consideration is whether there's a power imbalance. In your case, you describe the potential relationship as employee-employee, but from the university's perspective, your crush's status as a student is more important than his role as an employee. As a staffer with a potentially permanent position, you have more institutional power, and the student-employee has more institutional protection."

"He and I got along like a house on fire, and I quickly developed a massive work crush. He recently got rehired for the new semester, and now I see him every day. Would it be unethical to ask him out? He doesn't report to me, my job duties don't involve anything he might need from our department as a student, and as far as I know, there's no anti-fraternization policy in terms of employee-employee relationships."

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