I Spent Years Working a Stressful Job in Exchange for a Life-Changing Amount of Money. Then Everything Came Crashing Down.

"I worked at a very stressful, very difficult job for seven years because of the money. Not just my salary, which was generous, but also because I had stock options that I understood would turn out to be at least the down payment on an apartment once the company went public. The dream of that down payment got me through a lot of late nights and stressful seasons. And then everything at the company imploded, and my options ended up being worth nothing."

"You're grieving a loss, and I don't mean the loss of the options themselves. You worked seven years toward a goal that evaporated-those options were designated in your mind toward a down payment, which in itself represented security, freedom, and validation that the hard years were worth it. Of course you're angry. But you need to stop telling yourself that you were stupid or that you wasted those years. You weren't and you didn't."

A person spent seven stressful years at a well-paying job partly because of stock options expected to fund a down payment, but the company collapsed and the options became worthless. The person left the sector, changed careers, and now works less and is happier, yet continues to ruminate and feel foolish about the lost expectation. The emotional response is grieving a loss of security and validation rather than just money. The decision to pursue stock options was a calculated gamble common among intelligent people. The salary earned and skills gained enabled a successful career change, so those years were not wasted.

Read at Slate Magazine