A letter writer is grappling with whether to ask their 85-year-old mother for information about their niece's birth mother, as the niece was adopted without her knowledge. The writer believes it’s vital for the niece to have access to her history, especially as her adoptive parents' health declines and documentation may no longer exist. The response emphasizes the right to know one’s origins and suggests discussing the matter with the sister and brother-in-law to gain their support before proceeding.
Ask for the information. Your sister and her husband put your whole family in an unfair position by making this a lifelong secret.
Your niece deserves to know her own history and she should be able to choose whether or not she wants a connection with her birth family.
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