"The final show I review below got me looks that made me feel like a fish in a bowl. First, the private security at the door had two Valiant rent-a-cops who scowling at me-and only me-with that same 'Give me an excuse!' glare I've gotten from real cops all my life."
"Was it my Flo Mask? Did my MLK t-shirt clash with all their dark formal wear? Was it all the pro-queer, pro-Black, pro-Palestine pins on my jacket? I'd like to give the starers the benefit of the doubt and say they weren't looking at me the same way the rent-a-cops were."
"I did welcome the delighted looks from a Polish elder who sat next to me, complimented my shirt, and showed off some pins of her own. She was almost eager to make me feel welcome in a crowd where my non-white (masked) face was an outlier."
Attending various shows in the Bay Area, feelings of scrutiny and isolation emerged due to being a masked, non-white individual in predominantly white audiences. Experiences included being gawked at for nodding to a pre-show playlist and receiving hostile looks from security and attendees. Despite the discomfort, a positive interaction occurred with a Polish elder who appreciated the individual's attire and made them feel welcome. The contrast between hostile and friendly reactions highlighted the complexities of audience dynamics in performing arts venues.
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