My Mother-in-Law Acts Like a Tyrant in Public. My Kid Just Picked Up Her Worst Habit.

"My mother-in-law "Joan" has a terrible habit of being incredibly rude to people who wait on her, whether it's clerks at the grocery store or waitstaff at restaurants. She is very curt with them, orders them about, and will even make insulting remarks about their intelligence and appearance. Her behavior is incredibly embarrassing and I've put up with it longer than I should have."

"Your spouse probably thinks his mother won't change at this point-and he may be right about that-but he should be able to understand why you're concerned, and he definitely shouldn't be okay with his mother cussing you out. If I were you, I'd probably focus on that to begin with, and say that you don't plan to see Joan on Thanksgiving unless she apologizes for what she said to you on the phone."

A mother-in-law named Joan frequently treats service workers rudely, making curt orders and insulting remarks about intelligence and appearance. Her behavior embarrasses the family and has been modeled by a three-year-old who called a clerk "stupid." The husband minimizes the problem, saying "that's how she's always been," and the mother-in-law responded to a confrontation by cussing out the daughter-in-law. The advised response is to refuse verbal abuse, require an apology for the phone cussing, and set a clear boundary by declining to attend Thanksgiving unless an apology is offered.

Read at Slate Magazine