A person once experienced a friend falsely claiming cancer and later admitting the lie, leading to social withdrawal and mistrust. Years later, a new coworker shares many dramatic, possibly untrue stories and says recent blood tests show cancer. The person feels pressure to believe her, fears being cruel, and gives her time because she seems sweet. At the same time, instincts suggest exaggeration. The person also shares the stories with non-work friends and feels guilty about being “a bitch” behind her back. A psychologist and psychoanalyst links the core problem to being placed in a familiar emotional pattern involving illness, manipulation, guilt, and mistrust, rather than only determining whether the claims are true.
"Lemma felt this is informing your reactions. You're not encountering your friend in a neutral way, but through the afterlife of a previous relationship in which illness, manipulation, guilt and mistrust became tightly tangled together. I found myself wondering if you grew up with people who exaggerated/lied and if you were constantly searching for the stability of truth. This is an exhausting existence for a child."
Read at www.theguardian.com
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