Mindfulness
fromPsychology Today
3 hours agoThe Hidden Cost of Success
Success can lead to self-abandonment when internal signals are overridden, resulting in a disconnection from oneself despite external achievements.
#past-mistakes
#past-mistakes
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#mental-health #leadership #personal-growth #decision-making #psychology #success #communication #relationships
#success
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoIt took me until 37 to realize that almost all successful people let go of these 7 habits, but average performers keep clinging to them - Silicon Canals
Successful people abandon habits that keep others stuck, focusing instead on effectiveness and prioritizing their time.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 hours agoResearch suggests that high intelligence doesn't protect against bad decisions - it makes people better at constructing convincing justifications for the bad decisions they were already going to make - Silicon Canals
Higher intelligence can lead to greater polarization rather than alignment on contested facts.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says people who mellow out as they get older aren't the ones who suffered less - they're the ones who decided, at some point and without always knowing they were deciding, that the suffering was going to make them more open rather than less, and that decision, remade daily in small ways that nobody notices, is the entire difference - Silicon Canals
Emotional responses to life's challenges can change over time, leading to greater peace and stability despite ongoing difficulties.
fromFast Company
3 days agoWhat to do after a life-defining mistake
The only thing worse than making a mistake is keeping it bottled up inside. Learning from the mistakes of others could help you embark on the healing journey of sharing and working through a mistake of your own, with someone you trust.
Books
Careers
fromSilicon Canals
12 hours agoI'm 66 and I spent forty years being extremely good at my job and last spring I realized I had optimized my entire existence for the approval of people I didn't particularly like - Silicon Canals
Professional dedication can sometimes mask a deeper need for approval from others, leading to personal sacrifices and a loss of self-identity.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
23 hours agoMost people don't realize that the dishonest people in their lives rarely lie about facts - they lie about their intentions, and that specific distinction is why you keep feeling confused rather than simply hurt - Silicon Canals
Intention lies involve sharing true facts with hidden motives, making them difficult to detect.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoChildren raised in the 1960s and 70s developed their resilience the same way muscle develops under resistance - not by being protected from the load but by being required to carry it, repeatedly, without assistance, until the carrying became the unremarkable default rather than the exceptional achievement - Silicon Canals
Independence and resilience were fostered in children of the '60s and '70s through unstructured play and learning from failure.
#confidence
Growth hacking
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoThe people who look most successful on the outside often have no idea what they're doing - they just learned early that confidence and competence look identical from a distance - Silicon Canals
The gap between perceived success and actual competence is significant, often leading to overconfidence in those with limited knowledge.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
16 hours agoPsychology says people who constantly research self-improvement but never start aren't lazy - they've confused the feeling of learning with the feeling of changing - Silicon Canals
Learning about self-improvement can create a false sense of progress without actual change in behavior.
#self-worth
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
10 hours agoNobody teaches children how to know their own worth - we teach them to perform, to achieve, and to behave, and then wonder why so many adults reach fifty still measuring themselves against someone else's ruler - Silicon Canals
Self-worth is inherent and not based on achievements or external validation.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology says if you want your 70s to be the best years of your life you have to stop doing something most people don't quit until it's too late - and the quitting isn't dramatic, it's just the daily decision to stop measuring yourself by a standard that was always someone else's and never actually yours - Silicon Canals
Measuring worth by external standards leads to dissatisfaction; true value comes from personal fulfillment, not societal expectations.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoI'm 37 and I've already learned that your body keeps score, your gut rarely lies, and your childhood follows you into every relationship - while pretending I had it all figured out at 25 - Silicon Canals
Emotional struggles and stress manifest physically, impacting health and well-being.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoI'm 66 and I finally learned the hardest lesson isn't that people will disappoint you - it's that you'll disappoint yourself by pretending you don't need what you need until you forget what that even was - Silicon Canals
Neglecting emotional needs leads to a profound sense of loss and disconnection from oneself and others.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
8 hours agoPsychology says the most emotionally strong people aren't the ones who never fall apart - they're the ones who fall apart privately, reassemble without fanfare, and never use their recovery as a reason for anyone else to feel guilty - Silicon Canals
Emotional strength involves acknowledging feelings and recovering privately, not denying vulnerability or pretending to be unbreakable.
#decision-making
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology says the most important life lesson isn't learning to make better decisions - it's learning to live peacefully with the ones you can't undo - Silicon Canals
Irreversible choices shape our lives and learning to coexist with them is crucial for mental well-being.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology says the most important life lesson isn't learning to make better decisions - it's learning to live peacefully with the ones you can't undo - Silicon Canals
Irreversible choices shape our lives and learning to coexist with them is crucial for mental well-being.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoSome people don't fear failure. They fear succeeding and then being expected to sustain it, because the version of them that achieved it was running on adrenaline and desperation, and the person who shows up on Monday is someone quieter who doesn't know how to replicate what the emergency produced. - Silicon Canals
The fear of success stems from the pressure to replicate high performance, not from a desire to avoid good outcomes.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoThe people who always have a backup plan aren't pessimists. They grew up in environments where promises were unreliable, and redundancy became the only architecture that didn't collapse when someone changed their mind without warning. - Silicon Canals
Obsessive planners are often generous, driven by past experiences that teach them to prepare for uncertainties.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology suggests people who stay calm during conflict aren't less emotional - they learned early that the person who controls the temperature of the room controls the outcome, and they stopped reacting and started choosing - Silicon Canals
Controlling emotional responses during conflict can significantly influence the outcome of the situation.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
22 hours agoPsychology says the reason older people stop caring isn't emotional withdrawal - it's that they've finally learned to distinguish between what actually matters and what they were only caring about out of social obligation - Silicon Canals
Older individuals prioritize emotional connections over superficial relationships as they age, focusing on what truly matters in their lives.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says people who feel like they've been living someone else's life aren't confused or ungrateful - they're often the ones who were so good at adapting in childhood that they never stopped adapting long enough to find out who they actually were - Silicon Canals
Adapting to others' needs in childhood can lead to feeling disconnected and lost in adulthood.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoSelf-taught people often don't realize it, but psychology says the way they solve problems is fundamentally different from most people - Silicon Canals
Self-taught individuals develop unique cognitive patterns that enhance problem-solving through exploration and unfocused thinking.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who apologize constantly without realizing it are more damaged than they appear - because they internalize blame and absorb conflict, a survival response from childhood, which never switches off even when they're safe - Silicon Canals
Excessive apologizing often stems from childhood experiences of mistreatment and can lead to chronic self-blame in adulthood.
#overthinking
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoOverthinkers often don't realize it but psychology says the way they experience happiness is fundamentally different from most people - they can't feel joy without immediately calculating how and when they'll lose it - Silicon Canals
Chronic overthinkers experience positive emotions differently, often dampening their intensity and duration instead of savoring them.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoOverthinkers often don't realize it but psychology says the way they experience happiness is fundamentally different from most people - they can't feel joy without immediately calculating how and when they'll lose it - Silicon Canals
Chronic overthinkers experience positive emotions differently, often dampening their intensity and duration instead of savoring them.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoI used to be unhappy and I blamed everything around me - until I realized I'd built an entire life around avoiding the one conversation I needed to have with myself - Silicon Canals
Unhappiness often stems from avoiding self-reflection and attributing life issues to external factors rather than personal choices.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoI'm 34 and I just realized I've been performing competence at work for seven years because somewhere along the way I confused being impressive with being safe, and the exhaustion I thought was burnout was actually the weight of never once letting anyone see me learn something for the first time. - Silicon Canals
Performing competence can lead to self-erasure and social rewards, masking genuine capability with a polished exterior.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoPsychology suggests if you still write things down on paper instead of your phone you aren't resisting progress - you've found something that works and are practicing the increasingly rare skill of not replacing it simply because something newer arrived, and that skill, applied consistently, turns out to predict a surprising number of other things about how you make decisions - Silicon Canals
Handwriting enhances cognitive engagement and memory retention compared to typing, leading to better decision-making and creativity.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoThere's a particular kind of strength that belongs to people who rebuilt their entire personality after 40 - not because something broke them, but because they finally had enough distance from their childhood to see what was never theirs to carry - Silicon Canals
Personality changes after forty often reflect a deeper honesty about one's true self rather than a crisis or breakdown.
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