Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 hour agoStop Fixing, Start Strengthening: How to Raise Resilient Kids
Teaching children to navigate difficult emotions fosters resilience, confidence, and self-worth.
#parental-communication-during-crisis
#parental-communication-during-crisis
[ follow ]
#parenting #communication #emotional-intelligence #family-dynamics #mental-health #relationships #psychology
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 hour agoThe hardest thing about being the calm one in a family is that your steadiness becomes load-bearing. Everyone leans on it, nobody asks what holds it up, and the day you finally crack, people don't comfort you. They panic. Because your collapse threatens the architecture, and the architecture was always more important than you were. - Silicon Canals
The calm family member often bears the burden of emotional labor, managing others' feelings while suppressing their own.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
11 hours agoThere is a specific kind of couple that fights about dishes, laundry, and thermostat settings for fifteen years before one of them finally says the real sentence, which is: I need to know that you see what I do without me having to build a case for it every time. - Silicon Canals
Couples often argue about trivial matters like chores, but these disputes reflect deeper emotional needs and unresolved issues in the relationship.
#emotional-intelligence
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology suggests people who stay calm during conflict aren't less emotional - they learned early that the person who controls the temperature of the room controls the outcome, and they stopped reacting and started choosing - Silicon Canals
Controlling emotional responses during conflict can significantly influence the outcome of the situation.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoNot everyone who goes quiet during an argument is shutting down. Some of them are running a calculation they learned in childhood where speaking while emotional guaranteed that what they said would be used against them later, and the silence is protective custody for their own words. - Silicon Canals
Silence during conflict can indicate a calculated emotional response rather than passive aggression or shutdown.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoPeople who go quiet when they're hurt instead of raising their voice learned somewhere very early that their anger wasn't received as information. It was received as an inconvenience. So they stopped sending the signal and started absorbing the damage, and they've been doing it so long they sometimes mistake silence for calm - Silicon Canals
Silence during conflict often indicates deeper emotional pain rather than composure or passive aggression.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology suggests people who stay calm during conflict aren't less emotional - they learned early that the person who controls the temperature of the room controls the outcome, and they stopped reacting and started choosing - Silicon Canals
Controlling emotional responses during conflict can significantly influence the outcome of the situation.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoNot everyone who goes quiet during an argument is shutting down. Some of them are running a calculation they learned in childhood where speaking while emotional guaranteed that what they said would be used against them later, and the silence is protective custody for their own words. - Silicon Canals
Silence during conflict can indicate a calculated emotional response rather than passive aggression or shutdown.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoPeople who go quiet when they're hurt instead of raising their voice learned somewhere very early that their anger wasn't received as information. It was received as an inconvenience. So they stopped sending the signal and started absorbing the damage, and they've been doing it so long they sometimes mistake silence for calm - Silicon Canals
Silence during conflict often indicates deeper emotional pain rather than composure or passive aggression.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago6 signs someone grew up as the mediator between their parents, according to family therapists, and why those skills make them exceptional at work but exhausted in their own relationships - Silicon Canals
Children who mediate parental conflict develop skills that benefit their careers but can hinder personal relationships later in life.
#parenting
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 day agoWhen Your Adult Child Says 'I Hate You' and Then Wants Money
Emotional outbursts from adult children often stem from overload, and parents should change their responses to reset dynamics.
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
6 hours agoI Put in All the Effort to Make Holidays Special for Our Family. My Wife Finds a Way to Ruin It Every Time.
Kendall dislikes holidays, causing tension during family celebrations, and the writer seeks advice on managing her negativity during Easter.
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
1 day agoMy Daughter Made an Honest Mistake While Babysitting Her Cousins. My Sister Is Taking It Too Far.
Beatrice should take responsibility for her actions and communicate with her aunt about the incident.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoI'm 66 and I recently told my son that I was proud of him for the first time in his adult life, and the look on his face told me everything about the cost of assuming that providing for someone communicates the same thing as telling them they matter - Silicon Canals
Verbal expressions of pride are crucial for emotional connection between parents and children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says parents who can't stop helping their adult children aren't being loving - they're unconsciously protecting themselves from the terror of becoming unnecessary - Silicon Canals
Parental overinvolvement may stem from a fear of irrelevance rather than solely from love.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoI'm 66 and I recently told my son that I was proud of him for the first time in his adult life, and the look on his face told me everything about the cost of assuming that providing for someone communicates the same thing as telling them they matter - Silicon Canals
Verbal expressions of pride are crucial for emotional connection between parents and children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says parents who can't stop helping their adult children aren't being loving - they're unconsciously protecting themselves from the terror of becoming unnecessary - Silicon Canals
Parental overinvolvement may stem from a fear of irrelevance rather than solely from love.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 hours agoNobody teaches children how to know their own worth - we teach them to perform, to achieve, and to behave, and then wonder why so many adults reach fifty still measuring themselves against someone else's ruler - Silicon Canals
Self-worth is inherent and not based on achievements or external validation.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
13 hours agoPeople who clean before the cleaner arrives, apologize when someone bumps into them, and pre-explain before anyone has asked for a justification all grew up in homes where taking up space without earning it first was treated as an act of aggression. - Silicon Canals
Cleaning before the cleaner reflects a deeper issue of feeling unworthy of help without prior justification.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 hours agoPsychology says the most emotionally strong people aren't the ones who never fall apart - they're the ones who fall apart privately, reassemble without fanfare, and never use their recovery as a reason for anyone else to feel guilty - Silicon Canals
Emotional strength involves acknowledging feelings and recovering privately, not denying vulnerability or pretending to be unbreakable.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
16 hours agoThe people who are best at hiding unhappiness aren't the stoic ones or the quiet ones - they're the ones who became so skilled at giving everyone around them exactly enough warmth to never be looked at too closely - Silicon Canals
People often hide their struggles behind a facade of warmth, leading to loneliness despite appearing thriving.
Mental health
fromIndependent
1 day agoAsking for a friend: 'My son has just been diagnosed with autism and ADHD. My husband also got tested and has ADHD. How will all this affect our relationship?'
Navigating the challenges of neurodiversity in a family can be overwhelming, especially with multiple diagnoses affecting communication and relationships.
#communication
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
18 hours agoPsychology says people who reply to messages within seconds aren't just efficient - they've built their sense of safety around being reachable, because somewhere in their past, being slow to respond had consequences - Silicon Canals
Instant responses to messages often stem from a psychological need to mitigate perceived threats rather than mere efficiency.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
1 day agoHow "Supercommunicators" Make Conversations Work
There are three conversation types: practical, emotional, and social, with emotional intelligence playing a key role in effective communication.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says people who command the most respect in a room aren't the loudest or most confident - they're the ones who can disagree without making others feel stupid for having believed something different - Silicon Canals
Respectful disagreement fosters genuine influence and encourages open dialogue.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
18 hours agoPsychology says people who reply to messages within seconds aren't just efficient - they've built their sense of safety around being reachable, because somewhere in their past, being slow to respond had consequences - Silicon Canals
Instant responses to messages often stem from a psychological need to mitigate perceived threats rather than mere efficiency.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says people who command the most respect in a room aren't the loudest or most confident - they're the ones who can disagree without making others feel stupid for having believed something different - Silicon Canals
Respectful disagreement fosters genuine influence and encourages open dialogue.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology suggests people who adopt their parents' bad traits as they get older aren't becoming their parents - they're reverting to the most deeply installed operating system they have, the one that was running before they were old enough to choose a different one, and stress, age, and the slow erosion of self-monitoring are simply the conditions under which it boots back up - Silicon Canals
Behavioral patterns from childhood can resurface under stress, revealing deep-rooted psychological templates formed from early experiences.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who apologize constantly without realizing it are more damaged than they appear - because they internalize blame and absorb conflict, a survival response from childhood, which never switches off even when they're safe - Silicon Canals
Excessive apologizing often stems from childhood experiences of mistreatment and can lead to chronic self-blame in adulthood.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoThere's a generation of men who were taught that providing was the same as loving. And there's a generation of their children who spent years in therapy learning that those aren't the same thing, only to reach an age where they finally understand that for their fathers, inside the architecture they were given, it was. - Silicon Canals
Emotional estrangement between fathers and children stems from generational differences in expressing love and vulnerability.
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoWhy Parents Should Acknowledge Their Anger
Anger is a core emotion that's pre-wired in the brain. Core emotions tell us what we need and what is good for us. For example, fear (another core emotion) prompts us to seek safety, while sadness tells us there's something to mourn. Anger shows up when we feel violated. This is why feeling wronged, like when our kids repeatedly push back or yell at us, can evoke it.
Miscellaneous
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoNot everyone who avoids asking for help is proud. Some of them asked once, received it with a lecture attached, and learned that the cost of support was a small erosion of standing they could never quite earn back. - Silicon Canals
Asking for help can lead to unintended consequences that affect relationships and self-perception.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says people who feel like they've been living someone else's life aren't confused or ungrateful - they're often the ones who were so good at adapting in childhood that they never stopped adapting long enough to find out who they actually were - Silicon Canals
Adapting to others' needs in childhood can lead to feeling disconnected and lost in adulthood.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoChildren raised in the 1960s and 70s developed their resilience the same way muscle develops under resistance - not by being protected from the load but by being required to carry it, repeatedly, without assistance, until the carrying became the unremarkable default rather than the exceptional achievement - Silicon Canals
Independence and resilience were fostered in children of the '60s and '70s through unstructured play and learning from failure.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoThe people who say 'I'm fine with whatever you want to do' in every social situation aren't easygoing. They've simply never been in an environment where stating a preference didn't start a negotiation they couldn't afford to lose. - Silicon Canals
People who appear easygoing may actually be practicing conflict avoidance as a survival strategy learned from past experiences.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPeople who were labeled 'too sensitive' often became adults who read rooms before anyone speaks, and the difference between those two things is about 20 years of misunderstanding - Silicon Canals
Sensitivity can evolve from a perceived weakness into a valuable skill for understanding emotional dynamics in various situations.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoI grew up with a mother who was physically there but emotionally unreachable - and the confusion that produced, the child's inability to grieve a parent who is standing right in front of them, is the thing I have spent the most years in therapy trying to untangle and the thing I understood least for the longest - Silicon Canals
Emotional absence from a present parent can lead to profound feelings of unworthiness in a child.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPeople who go completely silent during an argument aren't giving you the silent treatment. They learned early that anything they said while emotional would be used as evidence against them later, so silence became the only statement that couldn't be misquoted. - Silicon Canals
Silence during conflict can be a strategic choice rooted in childhood experiences of emotional expression being weaponized.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoI stopped explaining myself when I apologize and the reactions taught me exactly which people in my life had been treating my explanations as retractions. To them, sorry with a reason attached meant sorry didn't really count, and sorry without one meant I was finally admitting fault on their terms. - Silicon Canals
Apologies without explanations reveal who truly listens and who seeks loopholes.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoPeople who go quiet when they're angry aren't giving you the silent treatment. They learned somewhere early that their anger wasn't safe to express at full volume, so they built a system where silence is the only container strong enough to hold it without consequences. - Silicon Canals
Silence can be a tool for containing emotions, especially anger, rather than a manipulation tactic.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago7 behavioral patterns people display when they were raised by a parent who loved them deeply but had no idea how to express it without criticism - Silicon Canals
Critical parents can love deeply yet struggle to express it without criticism, leading to complex emotional patterns in their children.
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
2 weeks agoWe Thought Reading This Book to Our Daughter Would Put a Stop to Her Bullying. Oh No, What Have We Done?
Address sibling bullying about weight by understanding the older child's underlying motivations and having direct conversations about how teasing affects the younger sibling's self-esteem.
Parenting
fromwww.theguardian.com
3 weeks agoMy mother's best advice: talk to your children like old friends
A mother's perspective on parenthood as companionship influenced the author's decision to have children, despite concerns about planetary instability and personal differences from her own upbringing.
#child-communication
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
4 weeks agoWhat Do I Do If My Child Won't Talk About an Upsetting Time?
Children may not verbally process upsetting events for various developmentally appropriate or concerning reasons, requiring parents to identify the underlying cause through patient, non-judgmental engagement.
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago6 Tips for Managing a Challenging Co-Parent Relationship
Managing your relationship with an unreliable or uncooperative co-parent can be very challenging, especially if you worry about your children spending time with them. I have worked with hundreds of women navigating divorce and want to reassure you that there is a lot of research supporting the fact that one healthy parent can outweigh the impact of an unhealthy parent. If you feel there are true safety concerns (this does not include less nutritious snacks or a later bedtime), it is important that you consult your legal team about options. Speaking with a child therapist or checking in with your child's pediatrician are other helpful avenues. If you don't have safety concerns but your relationship with your co-parent is strained, or you're worried about their parenting style, here are six things that can help.
Parenting
[ Load more ]