The culprit? Neuroticism - one of the five major personality traits psychologists use to understand human behavior. This isn't about occasionally feeling anxious or having a bad day. It's about a persistent pattern of emotional instability that creates a toxic cycle in relationships. Researchers Lowell Kelly and James Connelly put it bluntly: "High neuroticism is uniformly bad news in this context." They found that neuroticism doesn't just make relationships harder - it actively undermines them in ways that communication techniques alone can't fix.
Everybody knows this coworker-the one who spirals about cost-cutting layoffs when snacks vanish from the break room. The one who thinks they're getting fired because their boss hasn't been using emojis with them lately. The one who's the office Chicken Little: anxious, somewhat frantic, often misguided . . . and who can't stop talking to others about whatever it is they're anxious about.
When it comes to romantic relationships, there are numerous ways in which neuroticism may undermine relationships. Neuroticism is associated with negative emotion, which itself is predictive of relationship failure; those high in neuroticism are prone to complaining, may interpret innocuous comments as criticism, and are generally somewhat dissatisfied with, and critical of, most things in their environment including their partner.