Psychology
fromPsychology Today
23 hours ago2 Reasons You Keep Breaking Promises to Yourself
Promises to others are more likely to be kept due to social expectations and the potential impact on relationships.
#my-man-on-willpower
#my-man-on-willpower
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#mental-health #personal-growth #psychology #motivation #success #procrastination #productivity #self-improvement
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who constantly research self-improvement but never start aren't lazy - they've confused the feeling of learning with the feeling of changing - Silicon Canals
Learning about self-improvement can create a false sense of progress without actual change in behavior.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
13 hours agoPsychology says people who've mastered not caring aren't detached - they went through a period of caring so much it nearly broke them, and came out the other side with a much shorter list - Silicon Canals
Mastering the art of not caring comes from exhaustion, not indifference, after deeply caring and learning what deserves emotional energy.
#happiness
fromSilicon Canals
15 hours agoRelationships
Psychology suggests the adults most likely to spend their 60s and 70s in genuine contentment aren't the ones who achieved the most - they're the ones who stopped the earliest needing their life to mean something to anyone else, and that stopping, whenever it happened and for whatever reason, was the first day the actual life began - Silicon Canals
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
15 hours agoPsychology suggests the adults most likely to spend their 60s and 70s in genuine contentment aren't the ones who achieved the most - they're the ones who stopped the earliest needing their life to mean something to anyone else, and that stopping, whenever it happened and for whatever reason, was the first day the actual life began - Silicon Canals
Happiness comes from being true to oneself rather than seeking validation from others.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
22 hours agoThere is a specific kind of pride that belongs to people who grew up being told to figure it out. It looks like strength from the outside. From the inside it feels like a locked door they built so well they lost the key. - Silicon Canals
Self-reliance is a socially rewarded trauma response, often masking deeper emotional needs and issues within modern work culture.
Careers
fromSilicon Canals
10 hours agoI was always the reliable one - the one who showed up, remembered, rearranged, and absorbed - and it took me until 58 to wonder whether anyone would have come looking if I'd stopped - Silicon Canals
Being the reliable one can lead to personal neglect and invisibility in relationships.
fromFast Company
4 days agoWhat to do after a life-defining mistake
The only thing worse than making a mistake is keeping it bottled up inside. Learning from the mistakes of others could help you embark on the healing journey of sharing and working through a mistake of your own, with someone you trust.
Books
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says people who want to change their lives but never start aren't lazy - they're waiting for a feeling of readiness that behavioral science confirms almost never arrives on its own - Silicon Canals
Feeling ready to act is often a byproduct of taking action, not a prerequisite.
#success
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoIt took me until 37 to realize that almost all successful people let go of these 7 habits, but average performers keep clinging to them - Silicon Canals
Successful people abandon habits that keep others stuck, focusing instead on effectiveness and prioritizing their time.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says people who were told they were gifted as children often grow into adults who avoid challenges - because their identity was built on being naturally good, not on getting better - Silicon Canals
Labeling children as 'gifted' can hinder their growth by tying their self-worth to innate talent rather than effort and improvement.
fromFast Company
1 day agoJim Collins's leadership tips on how to frame your life for success
The executives who ignited the transformations from good to great did not first figure out where to drive the bus and then get people to take it there; they first got the right people on the bus and then figured out where to drive it.
Careers
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoI'm 66 and I finally learned the hardest lesson isn't that people will disappoint you - it's that you'll disappoint yourself by pretending you don't need what you need until you forget what that even was - Silicon Canals
Neglecting emotional needs leads to a profound sense of loss and disconnection from oneself and others.
#self-compassion
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoResearch suggests that self-compassion after failure - not self-criticism - is what predicts whether someone tries again, which means being hard on yourself isn't discipline, it's the thing that ends it - Silicon Canals
Self-compassion, not self-criticism, fosters resilience and encourages individuals to recover and try again after failure.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
19 hours agoPsychology says the people who look back at the end of their lives with the least regret aren't the ones who made the fewest mistakes - they're the ones who were most fully present for the life they were actually living, who didn't spend it waiting for a better version to begin, who loved the people in front of them rather than the idea of people, and who understood, early enough to act on it, that this was always the whole thing and there was never going to be another one - Silicon Canals
Presence, not perfection, leads to a life without regret at the end.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 hour agoPsychology says people who genuinely enjoy being alone aren't missing the need for connection - they've located the one condition under which their full self is available, and that condition happens to require an empty room, and there is nothing wrong with that except that the world was not designed with them in mind and has been making them feel guilty about it ever since - Silicon Canals
Society often mislabels the need for solitude as a deficiency, while those who recharge alone are more emotionally stable and focused.
Careers
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoI'm 66 and I spent forty years being extremely good at my job and last spring I realized I had optimized my entire existence for the approval of people I didn't particularly like - Silicon Canals
Professional dedication can sometimes mask a deeper need for approval from others, leading to personal sacrifices and a loss of self-identity.
#emotional-intelligence
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology suggests people who stay calm during conflict aren't less emotional - they learned early that the person who controls the temperature of the room controls the outcome, and they stopped reacting and started choosing - Silicon Canals
Controlling emotional responses during conflict can significantly influence the outcome of the situation.
#mental-health
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
18 hours agoPsychology says people who feel a persistent low-level sadness they cannot attribute to any specific cause aren't depressed in the clinical sense - they're experiencing the accurate emotional response to a life that has drifted, incrementally and without announcement, away from the one they meant to live, and the sadness is not a symptom, it is a signal, and signals are not treated, they are followed - Silicon Canals
Low-grade melancholy may signal a disconnect between current life and expectations, rather than being a symptom of depression.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
18 hours agoPsychology says people who feel a persistent low-level sadness they cannot attribute to any specific cause aren't depressed in the clinical sense - they're experiencing the accurate emotional response to a life that has drifted, incrementally and without announcement, away from the one they meant to live, and the sadness is not a symptom, it is a signal, and signals are not treated, they are followed - Silicon Canals
Low-grade melancholy may signal a disconnect between current life and expectations, rather than being a symptom of depression.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 hours agoI spent most of my twenties believing that needing less than other people was a strength. It took a decade of watching people who actually asked for things get them to realize I hadn't transcended need, I had just gotten so good at preemptive refusal that nobody ever had the chance to say yes - Silicon Canals
Avoidant attachment can prevent meaningful connections by valuing self-sufficiency over emotional engagement, leading to a life of preemptive refusal.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who mellow out as they get older aren't the ones who suffered less - they're the ones who decided, at some point and without always knowing they were deciding, that the suffering was going to make them more open rather than less, and that decision, remade daily in small ways that nobody notices, is the entire difference - Silicon Canals
Emotional responses to life's challenges can change over time, leading to greater peace and stability despite ongoing difficulties.
Philosophy
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoGiving Up Is Always an Option, but Rarely the Best One
When unable to achieve desired goals, people often reframe their desires as undesirable to protect self-esteem, but research shows this defensive strategy of disengagement reduces life satisfaction over time.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 hours agoPsychology says the most damaging people in your life are rarely the obviously cruel ones - they're the ones who were kind just often enough to keep you doubting your own perception - Silicon Canals
Intermittent reinforcement creates confusion and self-doubt, making it difficult for individuals to recognize toxic relationships.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says the most important life lesson isn't learning to make better decisions - it's learning to live peacefully with the ones you can't undo - Silicon Canals
Irreversible choices shape our lives and learning to coexist with them is crucial for mental well-being.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoSome people don't fear failure. They fear succeeding and then being expected to sustain it, because the version of them that achieved it was running on adrenaline and desperation, and the person who shows up on Monday is someone quieter who doesn't know how to replicate what the emergency produced. - Silicon Canals
The fear of success stems from the pressure to replicate high performance, not from a desire to avoid good outcomes.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says the most emotionally strong people aren't the ones who never fall apart - they're the ones who fall apart privately, reassemble without fanfare, and never use their recovery as a reason for anyone else to feel guilty - Silicon Canals
Emotional strength involves acknowledging feelings and recovering privately, not denying vulnerability or pretending to be unbreakable.
#self-worth
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoNobody teaches children how to know their own worth - we teach them to perform, to achieve, and to behave, and then wonder why so many adults reach fifty still measuring themselves against someone else's ruler - Silicon Canals
Self-worth is inherent and not based on achievements or external validation.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says people who feel successful at 50 aren't the ones who achieved the most - they're the ones who stopped measuring their worth against an imaginary scoreboard they inherited at 23 - Silicon Canals
Measuring worth against inherited societal scorecards leads to disappointment and a distorted sense of success.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says if you want your 70s to be the best years of your life you have to stop doing something most people don't quit until it's too late - and the quitting isn't dramatic, it's just the daily decision to stop measuring yourself by a standard that was always someone else's and never actually yours - Silicon Canals
Measuring worth by external standards leads to dissatisfaction; true value comes from personal fulfillment, not societal expectations.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoThe difference between people who actually change their lives and people who just talk about it almost always comes down to what they do in the first 90 seconds after waking up - Silicon Canals
The first 90 seconds after waking significantly influence the rest of the day, often leading to reactive behavior if not managed properly.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago9 signs you have a genuinely sharp mind (even if you never thought of yourself as particularly intelligent) - Silicon Canals
Intelligence often manifests in quiet observation and attention to detail rather than loud proclamations or traditional measures of success.
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoEnjoy the Pursuit: Why Adherence Is the Real Intervention
For my colleagues and me, whose task it is to improve population health, we architect specific health interventions because doing so gives us a measurement advantage. Through good intervention design, we (or the intervention's facilitators) can track attendance, program completion, vital signs, functional capacity, clinical labs, and downstream health utilization. Yet, despite our best design efforts, we still chronically face a fundamental challenge: program adherence.
Public health
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who feel like they've been living someone else's life aren't confused or ungrateful - they're often the ones who were so good at adapting in childhood that they never stopped adapting long enough to find out who they actually were - Silicon Canals
Adapting to others' needs in childhood can lead to feeling disconnected and lost in adulthood.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoNot everyone who avoids asking for help is proud. Some of them asked once, received it with a lecture attached, and learned that the cost of support was a small erosion of standing they could never quite earn back. - Silicon Canals
Asking for help can lead to unintended consequences that affect relationships and self-perception.
fromSilicon Canals
2 months ago9 mental habits that separate people who achieve goals from those who just set them - Silicon Canals
Here's something that might sound counterintuitive: people who achieve their goals don't actually take them that seriously. Wait, what? Let me explain. While goal-setters treat their objectives like sacred vows they can't break (and then feel crushed when they fail), achievers approach them more like scientists in a lab. They're curious about what will happen, not attached to a specific outcome.
Productivity
fromFast Company
1 month agoSelf-discipline can be your worst enemy
Looking back, I think the incident happened because I was at an internal breaking point between who I had been and who I was becoming. It was Blair's first indication that the self-discipline she imposed on herself-insisting that she could do everything perfectly on her own-wasn't healthy. In addition to the significant stress of her high-pressure job, she was also still carrying the grief of losing her partner five years earlier.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoHow to Outwit Your Inner Defeatist
Rumination, perhaps more than any other mental habit, shapes our emotional and physical health. Early experiences help set the brain patterns that fuel recurring thought spirals. Rumination can be redirected once its messages are understood.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 months agoJordan Peterson says if you want to stay mentally strong, stop doing these 8 habits that weaken your mind - Silicon Canals
Peterson believes that avoiding difficult conversations is one of the fastest ways to weaken your mind. And honestly, he's right. I used to be the king of avoidance. If something felt uncomfortable, I'd find every excuse to dodge it. "It's not the right time," I'd tell myself. Or my personal favorite: "Maybe the problem will just go away." Spoiler alert: It never did.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
2 months agoDon't Set Goals, Create a Way of Life
While goals can create structure in your life, give you something to strive for, and even inspire you, reaching the goal itself is a result of what you do to get there. The actions you take are the process-how you're actually filling the time that is your life. Sometimes, if you're lucky, what you do is fulfilling; it brings out the best in you-your talents, interests, and skills.
Mindfulness
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