#memory-and-exile

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fromBuzzFeed
1 day ago

I Kept My Family's Secret For Over 60 Years. Now, I'm Finally Telling The Truth.

In 1959, the woman who brought me into this world bundled me in a basket and placed me in a Hong Kong stairwell near Sai Yeung Choi Street, a bustling region of the British colony. I was 4 days old. A passerby called the police, who transported me to St. Christopher's Home, the largest non-government-run orphanage on the island.
Chicago
Boston Celtics
fromDefector
3 days ago

You Can't Go Home Again, But You Can Visit | Defector

The Michigan vs. Michigan State basketball game on Feb. 23, 2014, was a pivotal moment for a new Wolverine fan and student.
#family-estrangement
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

There's a specific kind of guilt that belongs to people who left difficult families and built better lives. It's not survivor's guilt exactly. It's the knowledge that your peace required a distance that someone who raised you experiences as abandonment, and there is no version of the story where everyone is okay. - Silicon Canals

Family estrangement often leads to complex guilt that doesn't fit traditional narratives of victimhood or ingratitude.
fromSlate Magazine
2 months ago
Mental health

My Big Family Once Formed the Backbone of My Life. Then, We Discovered My Sister's Horrific Actions. Now Nothing Is the Same.

Grief arises from losing a once-trusted family that protects abusers and punishes truth-tellers, necessitating boundaries, support, and therapy to mourn and rebuild safety.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

There's a specific kind of guilt that belongs to people who left difficult families and built better lives. It's not survivor's guilt exactly. It's the knowledge that your peace required a distance that someone who raised you experiences as abandonment, and there is no version of the story where everyone is okay. - Silicon Canals

Family estrangement often leads to complex guilt that doesn't fit traditional narratives of victimhood or ingratitude.
fromSlate Magazine
2 months ago
Mental health

My Big Family Once Formed the Backbone of My Life. Then, We Discovered My Sister's Horrific Actions. Now Nothing Is the Same.

World news
fromwww.aljazeera.com
3 days ago

In Ghana Town, a stateless' future for hundreds born and raised in Gambia

Residents of Ghana Town, Gambia, lack citizenship and ID documents, impacting their access to education and legal recognition.
fromPsychology Today
4 days ago

Identity Loss Shapes Behavior Long Before Crime Emerges

Carlos described his return home as a journey filled with memories of familiar neighborhoods and voices, yet he felt a quiet distance from them. Years spent in Tampa reshaped his identity, altering how he spoke and related to others. He recognized everything around him but felt a disconnection, as if the bond between his place and self had loosened over time.
Social justice
Real estate
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Neuroscience reveals that the feeling of home isn't about geography or architecture. It's a nervous system state. People who never learned to feel safe in the presence of others carry a portable homelessness that no mortgage, renovation, or relocation has ever been shown to resolve. - Silicon Canals

Home is not just a physical space; it's about the ability of one's nervous system to settle in the presence of others.
Mental health
fromwww.theguardian.com
3 days ago

Not unique to war': millions of Americans suffer from moral injury. What's causing it?

Moral injury, recognized by the American Psychiatric Association, arises from actions contradicting deeply held beliefs, affecting mental health across various contexts.
fromwww.dw.com
4 days ago

Russians living in exile cope with grief far from home

Trofimov's move to Germany was a spontaneous decision made after the war began, as he feared for his future and sought a more stable career.
Russo-Ukrainian War
#grief
Miami food
fromenglish.elpais.com
1 week ago

The tired faces of Cuban deportees to Mexico: I'm already old, I don't want to die here'

Deported migrants from the U.S. face dire conditions in Tapachula, struggling to survive and longing to return home.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
1 week ago

What Makes Painful Memories Stick

Painful memories linger because they signal threats to core psychological needs, making them psychologically urgent and demanding more cognitive processing.
fromwww.npr.org
1 week ago

Homesick in a foreign country, a teenager meets a lifelong friend

"I could understand the language somewhat, but I was terrible about speaking it. My accent was terrible. People could not understand me," Deiaco-Smith said.
Arts
#holocaust
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
4 days ago

Is Searching for Memories of Childhood Trauma Helpful?

Understanding suffering through trauma is appealing but can distract from the need for compassion and treatment regardless of its cause.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
6 days ago

The most painful version of not belonging isn't being rejected by strangers. It's sitting at your own family's dinner table, surrounded by people who share your last name, and feeling like you're watching the evening through glass. - Silicon Canals

Belonging can exist alongside profound loneliness, where one feels unseen even in the presence of family and friends.
Books
fromPsychology Today
2 weeks ago

Fiction Is Indispensable to Life's Journey

Fiction is essential for emotional connection, learning, and social cognition, allowing us to escape reality and engage deeply with narratives.
#memory
Independent films
from48 hills
2 weeks ago

'Palestine 36' director Annemarie Jacir: 'Memory is a form of resistance' - 48 hills

Palestine 36 depicts the Arab revolts against British colonial rule, contextualizing current events in the region through the story of Yusuf.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

There's a specific kind of grief that belongs to people who outgrew their hometown but never fully arrived anywhere else. They're not homesick for the place. They're homesick for the version of themselves that didn't yet know the place was too small. - Silicon Canals

Returning to one's hometown reveals a paradox of searching for a lost self rather than a changed place.
#immigration
Relationships
fromwww.theguardian.com
1 week ago

I thought, what the hell have I done?': the people who moved abroad for love and regretted it

A couple navigates the challenges of living in Switzerland after moving from Australia, balancing career aspirations and family ties.
Relationships
fromwww.theguardian.com
1 week ago

I thought, what the hell have I done?': the people who moved abroad for love and regretted it

A couple navigates the challenges of living in Switzerland after moving from Australia, balancing career aspirations and family ties.
Social justice
fromSlate Magazine
2 weeks ago

I Was Raised to Be Accepting. Yet, I Find Myself Battling Strange New Thoughts About Immigrants.

Acknowledging and confronting personal prejudices is a crucial step towards becoming a better ally and challenging racism.
Books
fromTruthout
2 weeks ago

With Gaza's Libraries in Ruins, Palestinians Fight to Preserve Historical Memory

Cultural and intellectual heritage in Gaza has suffered extensive damage due to the ongoing conflict, with libraries and archives facing significant destruction.
Berlin
fromPsychology Today
3 weeks ago

The Fear of Being Different When Traveling

Visiting Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini mausoleum revealed that being visibly different as an American tourist created unexpected anxiety despite Iranians' genuine friendliness.
fromThe Walrus
3 weeks ago

Where Do the Disappeared Go? | The Walrus

There is nothing more dangerous than an enforced disappearance. Think about the word for a moment: disappearance. Imagine waking up to find that a relative has vanished without a trace, or that you've been torn away from your family with no explanation. When you're disappeared, anything can happen to you, from verbal humiliation to physical torture or even death.
World news
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks ago

Psychology says the reason you feel both love and resentment toward aging parents is because you're living in two timelines simultaneously - honoring who they were while managing who they are, and your heart doesn't know which version to grieve first - Silicon Canals

Love and resentment towards aging parents are common emotional responses, not signs of a broken relationship.
#loneliness
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks ago

There's a version of loneliness that belongs to people who moved far from where they grew up and built a beautiful life somewhere new, only to realize that nobody in their current world knew who they were before. And sometimes being fully known matters more than being fully comfortable. - Silicon Canals

Loneliness can stem from not being known, even in social environments full of warmth and connection.
fromThe New Yorker
2 months ago
Books

Sadia Shepard on Loss, Faith, and the Web Between Stories

Helen confronts deep loneliness after her brother's death while assembling Kim's letters and encountering intersecting faiths: evangelical Christianity, Islam, and Indigenous religious traditions.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks ago

There's a version of loneliness that belongs to people who moved far from where they grew up and built a beautiful life somewhere new, only to realize that nobody in their current world knew who they were before. And sometimes being fully known matters more than being fully comfortable. - Silicon Canals

Loneliness can stem from not being known, even in social environments full of warmth and connection.
fromSilicon Canals
4 weeks ago

People who moved countries for love and people who moved countries for work carry completely different versions of displacement. One chose a person and lost a place. The other chose a place and discovered that without their people in it, a better country can still feel like a beautiful room with no furniture - Silicon Canals

She said she stood in her new kitchen, which had radiant floor heating and a view of the fjord, and cried because the bread smelled wrong. She'd moved from São Paulo for a man she'd met at a data science conference. The apartment was beautiful. The healthcare was extraordinary. The man was kind. And the bread smelled wrong, and that wrongness cracked open something in her she hadn't known was load-bearing.
Remote teams
fromenglish.elpais.com
4 weeks ago

The shattered dream of migrating to the US and the odyssey of returning: I was in jail for four months. That's the only way I got to know New York'

Laime Arold, a 26-year-old Haitian, buys energy bars at a small shop on the side of the Pan-American Highway in southern Chiapas, Mexico. Jose Adan, a Honduran, prays aloud in a park in Tapachula, asking God to protect him from kidnappers and the police along the way. Gerardo Aguilar, a Venezuelan, travels at 60 miles per hour, lying across two seats on a bus headed for Guatemala. The three all have something in common: they are in Mexico and they are migrants. None of them are heading north. They are heading south.
Miami food
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago

Behavioral scientists say the reason people cry when they see someone else reunited with a loved one - at airports, in films, in real life - isn't sentimentality. The brain's mirror neuron system fires a complete emotional simulation of the experience, and the tears aren't about the strangers, they're about every reunion your own body has stored and every one it's still waiting for. - Silicon Canals

Observing emotional reunions activates mirror neurons, creating an embodied response that connects us to the feelings of others.
#childhood-trauma
fromHarvard Gazette
3 weeks ago
Mental health

The things we carry - Harvard Gazette

Childhood adverse experiences cause long-term health damage through cellular-level biological changes that increase risks for cardiovascular disease, mental health problems, and other conditions decades later.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
3 weeks ago

Why Family-of-Origin Trauma Is So Hard to Recognize

Family trauma survivors often struggle to recognize abuse due to denial and normalization, requiring therapeutic support to acknowledge how early unstable relationships shape adult attachment and behavior patterns.
Mental health
fromHarvard Gazette
3 weeks ago

The things we carry - Harvard Gazette

Childhood adverse experiences cause long-term health damage through cellular-level biological changes that increase risks for cardiovascular disease, mental health problems, and other conditions decades later.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
3 weeks ago

Why Family-of-Origin Trauma Is So Hard to Recognize

Family trauma survivors often struggle to recognize abuse due to denial and normalization, requiring therapeutic support to acknowledge how early unstable relationships shape adult attachment and behavior patterns.
fromwww.theguardian.com
1 month ago

They were teens when a parent was deported. They still feel the pain as adults

Jesus usually came home from school to a raucous scene: the family TV blaring, his mom loudly cooking dinner and his two young sisters fighting about nothing in particular. When his dad came home from work, they'd all gather around the kitchen table for dinner. But this day was different. Everything was eerie and quiet and dark, he recalled. All of the lights in the home were off. The television was silent.
NYC parents
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
3 weeks ago

Why We Fear Being Forgotten

Fear of death and pursuit of meaningful life are interconnected; we build legacies to avoid being forgotten, though most people won't be widely remembered yet still shape the world.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
3 weeks ago

When Trauma Still Hurts: Memory Rescripting

Memory rescripting, a trauma-focused technique developed in the 1990s, enabled successful treatment of agoraphobia in a patient who refused traditional exposure therapy despite being an ideal CBT candidate.
Upper West Side
fromThe Atlantic
1 month ago

Leaving the United States Behind

The Cruz family decided to leave the United States for Mexico after Trump's 2024 election victory, fearing mass deportation despite building a stable life in New York City for nearly two decades.
Mindfulness
Forgetting is essential for human functioning, filtering irrelevant information and enabling emotional recovery, though it creates practical problems with necessary tasks that require deliberate memory strategies.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
3 weeks ago

3 Ways a Good Memory Becomes a Curse

Human memory reconstructs experiences through emotion, bias, and prediction rather than recording them accurately, making vivid memories prone to distortion and false beliefs despite feeling reliable.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago

Psychology says people who remember the exact location of every item in their childhood home - which drawer, which shelf, which cupboard - aren't sentimental, their brain mapped that house the way a body maps a minefield, and the precision that looks like nostalgia is actually surveillance that never turned off - Silicon Canals

Detailed childhood home memories reflect survival-based hypervigilance rather than nostalgia, with brains mapping familiar spaces like tactical terrain to navigate unpredictable or chaotic environments.
Social justice
fromTruthout
1 month ago

Deportation Is Not a Hardship That Shall Pass - It Is an Interminable Agony

Deportation creates permanent, intergenerational trauma that extends far beyond the moment of removal, affecting families through decades of separation and ongoing restrictions.
fromPsychology Today
1 month ago

The Architecture of Identity: How the Brain Builds a Self

Attention is the brain's filtering mechanism; what passes through that filter is what gets encoded. What gets encoded becomes memory. And memory is the raw material of identity. So in the architecture of your identity, attention is the doorway.
Miscellaneous
fromBusiness Insider
1 month ago

I left Iran at age 12 and never went back because it never felt safe. At 48, I can finally picture returning home.

Two or three weeks ago, I would've thought that Iran might be free by the time I was 90, and I could die there. I had this vision of me walking through the airport with a cane. Now, at age 48, I can see myself making a trip back to Iran within the next year, and potentially living there permanently within the next five.
World news
Business
fromFast Company
2 months ago

Navigating the ghosts of cultures past

Organizational culture constantly changes; leaders must discern which legacy cultural elements to retain and which to remove while balancing enduring beliefs with adaptive practices.
Higher education
fromNature
2 months ago

Universities in exile: displaced scholars count the costs of starting afresh

Donetsk National Technology University relocated multiple times due to Russian aggression, reducing enrollment from 18,000 to 1,180 and staff to 116.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 month ago

I spent my childhood being told I was so mature for my age and only understood as an adult that what they were praising was the successful theft of something I was never going to get back - Silicon Canals

Childhood praise for premature maturity often masks survival adaptation to stress, not genuine development, creating lifelong patterns of emotional suppression and people-pleasing.
US politics
fromwww.theguardian.com
1 month ago

Tell us: are you an American living abroad who has tried to renounce your citizenship?

American expats who tried renouncing US citizenship are invited to securely share detailed experiences, including motives, obstacles, future-return concerns, and anecdotes; contributions can be anonymous.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
1 month ago

When Everything Becomes "Trauma"

Psychological trauma, originating from the Greek word for 'wound,' evolved from describing physical injuries to mental wounds in the late 19th century, with usage tripling since the 1970s as the term expanded to encompass various difficult life experiences.
fromVulture
2 months ago

One in a Million Is a Stunning Real-Life Refugee Epic

In Cologne, the family is greeted with a small but comfortable new home, and Israa enters a school where her classmates and teachers seem kind and curious to learn more about her. Over the years, however, things change. Israa begins to feel the prying eyes of others, and she begins to react against her family, in particular her father, Tarek, with whom she was once incredibly close but who now seems like a man out of time and place, wedded to traditions left behind.
Film
fromEmptywheel
2 months ago

How Do You Want Your Family to Remember You?

The Stasi, the secret police, were legendary for their data files. Their work was based on instilling fear, and they induced stunningly amazing numbers of East Germans into informing on their neighbors. Something along the lines of 1 in 6 East Germans were informants, whether out of fear or out of approval of what the East German government was doing.
Travel
fromBusiness Insider
1 month ago

After 5 years of living abroad in Canada and Europe, I took off my rose-colored glasses and moved back to the US

Living and working abroad offers enriching experiences but often involves visa instability, short-term contracts, lower pay, and persistent job-search challenges leading some to return home.
Law
fromSlate Magazine
1 month ago

After My Mom's Death, I Went Inside My Parents' House for the First Time in Years. What I Saw Terrified Me.

Adult child with power of attorney discovers father depleted finances, hoarding home, excessive gambling and spending, declining health, and refusal of help risking homelessness.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
1 month ago

Why the News Feels So Personal Right Now

Global news triggers different emotional responses based on identity, diaspora status, family trauma history, and nervous system regulation, requiring intentional pacing rather than constant consumption.
US politics
fromThe Nation
2 months ago

I've Covered Migration and Borders for Years. This Is What I've Learned.

U.S. imperialism escalated under Trump, combining foreign military aggression with domestic repression and deportation of migrants and refugees.
#nostalgia
fromSilicon Canals
1 month ago
Psychology

Nostalgia isn't actually about wanting to go back - it's your mind's way of proving to itself that you were once capable of the kind of joy and purpose that feels impossible now. - Silicon Canals

fromSilicon Canals
1 month ago
Psychology

Nostalgia isn't actually about wanting to go back - it's your mind's way of proving to itself that you were once capable of the kind of joy and purpose that feels impossible now. - Silicon Canals

Miscellaneous
fromwww.aljazeera.com
2 months ago

From Crimea to Cameroon: Ukraine's minorities reflect on life during war

A Muslim cultural centre offered shelter to displaced Ukrainians, fostering cohesion, dispelling anti-Muslim misconceptions, and promoting understanding of Ukraine's longstanding Muslim heritage.
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

Cellular Memory, Trauma, and Fear

They are known, as it were, from the neck up. The cellular memory of facts and experiences, however, connects mind and body: My body recalls that showing my true feelings in childhood led to a put-down. A slammed door meant that Dad was home and drunk. The specific fact/event may be forgotten, but the bodily reaction remains: Any slamming noise may induce terror.
Mindfulness
Arts
fromHyperallergic
2 months ago

A Video Game Lets You Take Back Looted Artifacts

A South African indie studio created Relooted, a heist game where players recover African artifacts from Western museums, reframing play, memory, and restitution.
Miscellaneous
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

First-Gen Growth Can Feel Like Belonging and Betrayal

First-generation individuals confront family expectations and unspoken mandates, balancing gratitude and obligation while pursuing opportunities that can create misunderstanding and guilt.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 month ago

Psychology says the people who remember exact dates, what someone was wearing, and the precise words used during painful moments aren't holding grudges. Their memory encoded the detail because their nervous system classified that moment as a survival event - Silicon Canals

Emotionally significant events create vivid 'flashbulb memories' through amygdala activation and stress hormones, prioritizing survival-relevant information over mundane details.
#immigration-enforcement
fromPsychology Today
1 month ago

The Haunting of Trauma: PTSD and Toni Morrison's 'Beloved'

Excellent descriptions of trauma abound, including memoirs, but they are logical and descriptive, constrained by the conventions of straightforward narrative. But trauma itself upends the usual modes of narrative by which we think about our lives: out of sequence and unintegrated, traumatic memories defy the logic that guides our sense of our lives as stories with a past, present, and future. Literary tools such as symbol, allegory, and narrative structure can embody a visceral sense of the ways that trauma can disrupt and diminish a life.
Books
Philosophy
fromThe Conversation
2 months ago

Bearing witness after the witnesses are gone: How to bring Holocaust education home for a new generation

Joe Engel, an Auschwitz survivor, became a prominent Holocaust educator in Charleston and helped establish a permanent memorial as survivor voices fade.
fromAxios
2 months ago

Fewer than 200,000 Holocaust survivors remain as antisemitism rises globally

The number of Jewish Holocaust survivors alive worldwide has fallen to around 196,600, according to the Conference on Jewish Material Claims Against Germany (Claims Conference). That's down 220,000 survivors from a year ago - an 11% drop, the Claims Conference said. The median age of survivors is now 87, with many now in their 90s and older, numbers show. Nearly all Jewish Holocaust survivors (97%) are "child survivors" who were born in 1928 or later.
World news
fromemptywheel
2 months ago

How Do You Want Your Family to Remember You? - emptywheel

The Stasi, the secret police, were legendary for their data files. Their work was based on instilling fear, and they induced stunningly amazing numbers of East Germans into informing on their neighbors. Something along the lines of 1 in 6 East Germans were informants, whether out of fear or out of approval of what the East German government was doing.
US politics
fromIndependent
1 month ago

Ukrainian stories: 'When we arrived here, we were like aliens from another planet. I had to start my life from scratch'

Four years on from the invasion, we talk to the Ukrainians who have settled in Co Kerry, why they chose to come here, the heartbreaking stories from their homeland, and dealing with the 'small percentage of haters'
Miscellaneous
US politics
fromArchitectural Digest
2 months ago

When Politics Drives You From Home: 5 Americans Who Uprooted Their Lives Because of the State of the Nation

Politics has become a major driver of relocation, with many Americans choosing new communities that align with their political beliefs despite logistical and emotional costs.
World news
fromenglish.elpais.com
2 months ago

What it means to be Jewish after the destruction of Gaza: There will be a certain amount of shame for the next generation'

Peter Beinart condemns Israeli government cruelty toward Palestinians and argues that perpetual Israeli victimization turns supremacy into a protective ideology, fracturing Jewish community ties.
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

Voices of Generations: How Family Stories Foster Belonging

Throughout many immigrant experiences, stories collected from family members can be a starting point for migrants. The memories gleaned from parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles-who crossed dozens of borders at great risk and with immense pain-can settle into the consciousness of new host communities for decades. For the migrants, these stories and memories represent the first step into a new world and contain lifelines with the potential and promise to build new, resilient identities and a sense of belonging in often hostile environments.
Relationships
US politics
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

A War of Narratives

Clear, simple narratives improve understanding; truth-focused, superior narratives are necessary to counter disinformation and avoid equating falsehoods with facts.
fromwww.dw.com
1 month ago

German government pushes Syrians to return to their homeland

Of these, 3,678 of them have already gone back to their home country. For German Interior Minister Alexander Dobrindt, this is proof of the migration policy that he has been promoting: "Those who have no prospect of staying receive targeted support for their voluntary repatriation." This "targeted support" includes the cost of the flights and 1,000 (ca. $1200) per adult and 500 for minors.
Miscellaneous
Mental health
fromWander With Jo
2 months ago

Why Moving Abroad Doesn't Fix Everything: The Emotional Toll of Moving Abroad

Expat life often increases mental-health risks—anxiety, depression, burnout, and isolation—driven by culture shock, language barriers, visa uncertainty, and financial stress.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
1 month ago

When Telling Your Story Costs You

DID is an adaptive, trauma-based survival response, not spectacle; media interviews often violate survivors' boundaries, causing harm and unequal power dynamics.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

Why You Remember What You Remember From Childhood

Early childhood memories persist when novel, emotional, repeated, or cued; recovering unconscious early choices allows making new decisions that improve enjoyment of life.
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