Writing
fromPsychology Today
9 hours agoLoving My Mother, Unlearning Myself
Love and pressure coexist in mother-daughter relationships, shaping identity and fueling personal growth through grief and complex emotions.
#maternal-behavior
#maternal-behavior
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#parenting #family-dynamics #child-development #mental-health #emotional-intelligence #psychology #communication
#parenting
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 day agoHow Parenting Advice on Anxiety Misses Key Family Patterns
Helping children face fears requires parents to change their responses, not just focus on fixing the child.
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
22 hours agoWe Were Always the Most Laid-Back Parents We Know. That All Has to Change Now.
Introducing stricter rules for children can be necessary when managing a larger household, but it may lead to resistance from the kids.
Parenting
fromScary Mommy
10 hours agoOK, Are We Still Giving Kids "Chores" These Days Or What?
All kids should have age-appropriate chores to foster responsibility and teamwork in the household.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoI'm 66 and I stopped calling my kids first - and the silence showed me something I didn't want to see: the closeness I felt was something I had been quietly maintaining all along - Silicon Canals
The experiment revealed that the author was the primary initiator in maintaining relationships with their adult children.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
6 hours agoThe day I stopped waiting for my children to make me feel appreciated was the day I finally understood that I had spent thirty years confusing their love for me with their ability to express it - Silicon Canals
Understanding love's expression can liberate us from unmet expectations in relationships.
fromPsychology Today
15 hours agoWhen Anger Waits: The Turtle Technique Beyond Childhood
The turtle technique is often introduced to children to help them manage strong emotions, guiding them to pause, breathe, and step back before reacting. It sounds simple, yet it carries depth when practiced with intention.
Mindfulness
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
17 hours agoPsychology says people who keep adjusting their personality to suit the room aren't socially skilled - they're exhausted, and they've been exhausted since childhood - Silicon Canals
Constantly adapting one's personality can lead to exhaustion and loss of personal identity, rather than being a sign of social skill.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoThere's a specific kind of adult who apologizes for crying even when they're alone, and it isn't sensitivity, it's the residue of a childhood where emotion was something you were expected to clean up before anyone saw the mess - Silicon Canals
Adults who were invalidated in childhood often apologize for their emotions, reflecting deep-seated patterns of emotional suppression.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says people who constantly apologize for things that aren't their fault aren't being polite. They grew up in an environment where someone else's bad mood was always their responsibility to fix - Silicon Canals
Over-apologizing often stems from childhood experiences that teach individuals to manage others' emotions, leading to chronic self-blame and anxiety.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoI realized this year that every relationship I've stayed too long in was one where I had to be quieter to make it work - Silicon Canals
Compromising in relationships can lead to diminishing one's authentic self, resulting in a quieter, less expressive version of oneself.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoThe people who seem to have endless patience with difficult family members aren't necessarily more forgiving. Many of them long ago concluded that the emotional cost of asking for change was higher than the cost of absorbing the behavior, and they've been paying the cheaper price for so long they forgot there was ever a choice. - Silicon Canals
Conflict avoidance is often mistaken for patience, but it can lead to relationship breakdown and is linked to anxiety and attachment insecurity.
#grief
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says adult children don't grieve their aging parents all at once - they grieve them in a thousand tiny deaths, like the first time your mother forgets she told you the same story twice, or the afternoon you notice your father's hands shaking when he signs his name - Silicon Canals
Anticipatory grief involves mourning the gradual changes in living parents, representing incremental losses rather than just preparing for death.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPeople who grew up watching their parents stay together unhappily often become adults who are simultaneously terrified of commitment and terrified of leaving. They inherited the architecture of endurance without ever being shown what it was supposed to protect - Silicon Canals
Children of unhappy marriages may develop relational paralysis, feeling unable to commit or leave due to learned endurance without understanding its purpose.
Boston
fromSilicon Canals
1 month agoI'm 66 and I finally understand that my mother wasn't cold - she was rationing. She had a finite amount of emotional energy and five people drawing from it every day, and the distance I interpreted as indifference was a woman trying to make it to bedtime without disappearing completely. - Silicon Canals
A child's misinterpretation of a parent's emotional reserve as indifference reveals how exhaustion and finite emotional capacity shape parental behavior across decades.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoThere's a type of adult who cannot receive a compliment without immediately deflecting it, and the deflection isn't modesty. It's the sound of a childhood where positive attention was always followed by a request, and the body learned that warmth was just the opening move before someone needed something. - Silicon Canals
False grounds in electrical work and personal interactions reveal how unacknowledged praise can lead to emotional deflection and avoidance.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoI've stopped being angry that my adult children rarely call, because I finally understand they're not ignoring me - they're just living the life I worked my whole career to give them, and that's both the proudest and loneliest thought I've ever had - Silicon Canals
Children are overwhelmed with responsibilities, not neglecting their parents.
fromwww.bbc.com
1 month agoI spent five months in a mother and baby mental health unit - here's what I want mums to know
Sofii Lewis described her experience, stating, "I knew I wasn't safe. But I didn't think I was out of control." This highlights the confusion many face with postpartum psychosis.
Mental health
#parenting-advice
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
1 month agoMy Mother's New Fixation Is Terrifying My Daughter. She's Got to Stop.
A grandmother's repeated talk of impending death is frightening a 7-year-old; parents should establish boundaries with the grandmother and have an age-appropriate conversation with their child about mortality.
fromPsychology Today
2 months agoWho Gets to Be a Mother?
We'd been working together for years to make my medication regimen-treatment for schizoaffective disorder-safe for potential pregnancy. Under her care, I was tapering off an antidepressant known to cause respiratory distress and hypertension in a newborn. I'd been experiencing wild mood swings, even suicidal thoughts. My beloved doctor's eyes were sad. "I'm saying no to a pregnancy, Meg." Even in the moment, I understood her priority as a physician was to keep me safe. Still, part of me hated her.
Mental health
fromScary Mommy
2 months agoThis Mom Says That The Woman With The Happiest Relationships Are "Useless"
"The smartest women with the happiest relationships are the useless women," Dianna Lee begins in her video. "As you can probably tell, I'm a highly capable woman. I'm capable throughout all areas of my life, through my schooling days, to my career, and I attacked my marriage life in exactly the same way. I just executed. I was fast, efficient, and I knew exactly what needed to get done. And in retrospect, it was so wrong."
Relationships
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
1 month agoI Had a Strange, Unsettling Experience Breastfeeding Each of My Four Children. I Finally Figured Out Why.
Breastfeeding triggered intense emotional distress including dread, sadness, and panic for the author across four children, despite lacking physical pain, leading her to switch to formula after brief periods.
fromSlate Magazine
1 month agoI've Always Known What Kind of Person My Mother Is. Unfortunately, My 3-Year-Old Has Figured It Out, Too.
It's easy to get caught up in what we believe we owe our parents. But we shouldn't forget what we owe ourselves, or our children. It's great that your child was able to communicate her discomfort to you. She has let you know that she 'really, really' doesn't want to visit your mom. And now I think she needs you to pay attention to those things.
Parenting
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 month agoPsychology says parents who provided everything materially and nothing emotionally aren't cold - they were loved the same way and genuinely had no idea there was another option - Silicon Canals
Emotionally unavailable parents often substitute material provision and gifts for emotional presence, translating affection into the only language they fluently speak.
Parenting
fromIndependent
2 months agoOur daughter only wants her mum - how can I step in to help soothe her and share the load?
Young children often prefer one parent; gently stepping back and rebalancing caregiving duties prevents caregiver burnout and supports children's developing emotional regulation.
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