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fromPsychology Today
3 hours agoLoving My Mother, Unlearning Myself
Love and pressure coexist in mother-daughter relationships, shaping identity and fueling personal growth through grief and complex emotions.
Health Secretary Wes Streeting announced that Donna Ockenden would lead an independent investigation into maternity care at University Hospitals Sussex NHS Trust, emphasizing the need for transparency and family involvement.
Sofii Lewis described her experience, stating, "I knew I wasn't safe. But I didn't think I was out of control." This highlights the confusion many face with postpartum psychosis.
This is something that's been practiced in homes since the beginning of time. I saw how much it actually helped her, as far as her mood and ability to continue on with daily responsibilities. The Chef Doula concept took root when Thomas was growing up in California with a single mother who experienced two miscarriages, and he started cooking to help during her recovery.
You're allowed to enjoy nice things. Both elements—the nice things and being allowed them—were equally important. She was a fervent believer in the restorative power of a treat, taking herself out for solo breakfasts most weeks (a bacon muffin and a cup of coffee in the cosseted calm of Bettys Tea Rooms), ordering chips at the slightest provocation, staying in chic hotels she had a pre-internet gift for ferreting out and being coaxed by department store salesladies into buying expensive unguents.
The viral trend - where people share Chinese lifestyle hacks, from wearing red for luck during Lunar New Year to banning outdoor shoes indoors - felt like watching the world embrace the culture I grew up with. Around the same time, another phrase was everywhere: "You met me at a very Chinese time in my life." The line went viral after Hong Kong-born stand-up comedian Jimmy O Yang posted a video of himself singing the well-known Chinese song "Yi Jian Mei" on Instagram in November, with those words splashed across the screen.
As a postpartum woman, most of the time, I just want my husband to hug me and tell me he's sorry I'm uncomfortable in my new body. I don't always want to hear how attractive he finds me, because I don't see it. Maybe try thanking her for sacrificing her pre-baby body to bring your children into the world. Tell her you appreciate that and love her.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I did what most moms do-I started researching. I wanted to make the best possible choices for my baby and myself, and giving birth in a hospital just didn't feel like the safest option. So many women do it, but the more I learned, the more I realized that the reality of hospital birth in the U.S. is even less reassuring than I had thought. I wanted to birth at home.
"The smartest women with the happiest relationships are the useless women," Dianna Lee begins in her video. "As you can probably tell, I'm a highly capable woman. I'm capable throughout all areas of my life, through my schooling days, to my career, and I attacked my marriage life in exactly the same way. I just executed. I was fast, efficient, and I knew exactly what needed to get done. And in retrospect, it was so wrong."
We'd been working together for years to make my medication regimen-treatment for schizoaffective disorder-safe for potential pregnancy. Under her care, I was tapering off an antidepressant known to cause respiratory distress and hypertension in a newborn. I'd been experiencing wild mood swings, even suicidal thoughts. My beloved doctor's eyes were sad. "I'm saying no to a pregnancy, Meg." Even in the moment, I understood her priority as a physician was to keep me safe. Still, part of me hated her.
Kids don't owe you gratitude for doing your job as a parent. You signed up for this. You chose to have them. Taking care of them isn't some favor you're doing-it's what you're supposed to do. The parents who get this stop keeping score. They stop waiting for recognition.