#dadternship
#dadternship
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#parenting #family-dynamics #mental-health #work-life-balance #communication #leadership #relationships #childcare
#retirement
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
14 hours agoI always assumed retirement would bring peace - instead it feels like being handed the life I never had time to live, and the weight of that freedom is scarier than any deadline ever was - Silicon Canals
Retirement can lead to an identity crisis and feelings of purposelessness after decades of structured work life.
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology says the grief that follows retirement isn't about losing your job - it's about the self that only existed inside the job, the one who was competent and needed and clearly defined, and that self doesn't retire when you do, it simply loses the only environment that was ever capable of calling it into existence - Silicon Canals
Retirement challenges identity, as losing a job often means losing a coherent sense of self.
Careers
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology suggests the reason retirement feels like grief for so many people isn't weakness - it's because purpose, structure, and identity were all bundled into one thing called a job, and losing the job means losing all three at once - Silicon Canals
Retirement can lead to a profound loss of purpose, structure, and identity, creating feelings of grief and invisibility.
#identity
Writing
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoI've been useful my entire life - to my employer, my family, my parents when they were aging - and I'm only now beginning to understand that being useful and being known are not the same thing, and I've had plenty of the first and almost none of the second - Silicon Canals
Being useful does not equate to being known or valued as a person.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoMy father became someone I dreaded visiting somewhere in his late 60s - not suddenly, not through any single thing, but through the slow accumulation of a bitterness I watched arrive like weather and settle into his personality as though it had always been there, and the hardest part was not the bitterness itself but the fact that I could see exactly where it had come from and could not find a way to say so without making it worse - Silicon Canals
Disappointment can transform identity, leading to bitterness when circumstances change beyond one's control.
fromwww.businessinsider.com
2 days agoAfter a disappointing college experience, I was determined to make postgrad life better. Now I'm thriving.
Social anxiety and depression had other plans, leaving me in an ugly cycle of self-isolation and rumination. Terrified of rejection, I'd meet someone interesting during one of my English lectures and invite them out for frozen yogurt in my head.
Higher education
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoTwo generations are currently arguing about work ethic when what they're actually arguing about is whether suffering should be a prerequisite for dignity. One generation believes it is because that was the deal they were offered. The other is trying to renegotiate. - Silicon Canals
Generational differences in work ethic stem from a broken contract between Boomers and Gen Z regarding dignity and economic stability.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPeople who grew up watching their parents stay together unhappily often become adults who are simultaneously terrified of commitment and terrified of leaving. They inherited the architecture of endurance without ever being shown what it was supposed to protect - Silicon Canals
Children of unhappy marriages may develop relational paralysis, feeling unable to commit or leave due to learned endurance without understanding its purpose.
#relationships
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 hours agoNobody warns you that when you stop caring what everyone thinks, you also discover which of your relationships were held together entirely by your willingness to be whoever the other person needed - Silicon Canals
Stopping people-pleasing leads to a necessary audit of relationships, revealing which ones are genuine and which are based on expectations.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoI'm 65 and I recently realized I have spent my entire marriage being the strong one, and now that I actually need someone to be strong for me I don't know how to ask without feeling like I'm dismantling a promise I made forty years ago - Silicon Canals
Long-term role rigidity in marriage can lead to one partner becoming the sole pillar, creating an imbalance that may hinder growth and change.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoI'm in my 30s and I just understood something about my father that therapy never gave me. He didn't withhold affection because he didn't feel it. He withheld it because in the world he came from, the moment you showed someone how much they meant to you was the moment you gave them the power to destroy you. - Silicon Canals
Emotional withholding can protect against vulnerability, revealing deeper love and care beneath perceived indifference.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
21 hours agoThere's a generation of men who became their mother's therapist before they turned twelve, and they grew into adults who can read a room in seconds but have no idea how to sit in one without scanning for danger - Silicon Canals
Boys often learn emotional intelligence as a defense mechanism due to emotional parentification, impacting their adult relationships and emotional health.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoI walked away from a fifteen-year friendship last year and the hardest part wasn't the loss. It was realizing I'd been auditioning for a role the entire time, and the version of me that friendship required was someone who never disagreed, never needed anything, and never outgrew the dynamic. The grief wasn't for the friend. It was for the years I spent performing. - Silicon Canals
True friendship requires authenticity and conflict, not just compliance and absence of disagreement.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPeople who grew up being the one their parents confided in didn't become mature faster. They became adults who can't tell the difference between being trusted and being used, because the two things arrived in the same conversation and nobody told them those were different experiences. - Silicon Canals
Emotional parentification involves children taking on adult roles, leading to hypervigilance rather than true emotional maturity.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoI'm 66 and my wife Donna said something last week that I haven't been able to stop thinking about. She said the reason our sons don't call more isn't because they don't love me. It's because I taught them that strong men don't need checking on, and they believed me. - Silicon Canals
Father-son silence often reflects learned emotional stoicism rather than a broken relationship, demonstrating that strong men don't need to check in.
fromAbove the Law
3 weeks agoBusiness Development Without The Babysitter: A Smarter Model For Working Mothers - Above the Law
Business development has never truly been about proximity to a bar cart. It is about trust, relevance, and consistency-all factors of relationship building which take time and patience. Working mothers who understand that distinction are often better positioned to build sustainable books of business than their peers who equate visibility with value.
Women
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoNot everyone who stays silent during an argument is shutting you out. Some of them grew up in houses where raised voices preceded things that couldn't be taken back, and their silence isn't withdrawal. It's the sound of someone trying very hard not to become a person they promised themselves they'd never be. - Silicon Canals
Silence after an argument can signify deeper emotional struggles rather than mere avoidance or rejection.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says the moment a person stops needing to be right in every conversation is not the moment they become less intelligent - it is the moment they become more interested in the other person than in their own position, and that shift, whenever it arrives and for whatever reason, is the single most reliable predictor of whether the relationships they build from that point forward will be the kind that last - Silicon Canals
Building lasting connections relies on listening deeply and understanding rather than winning arguments.
#family-dynamics
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoMost families have one person everyone loves but nobody genuinely listens to - and psychology says that person almost always knows exactly who they are, has known for decades, and long ago stopped hoping anyone else would figure it out - Silicon Canals
Family dynamics often lead to certain voices being unheard, creating an invisible hierarchy that affects communication and connection.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoThere's a generation of men who were taught that providing was the same as loving. And there's a generation of their children who spent years in therapy learning that those aren't the same thing, only to reach an age where they finally understand that for their fathers, inside the architecture they were given, it was. - Silicon Canals
Emotional estrangement between fathers and children stems from generational differences in expressing love and vulnerability.
Careers
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoI've watched three generations enter the workforce, and what Gen Z calls "hustle culture" is what my generation simply called showing up - but before you dismiss that as boomer arrogance, there's something underneath it worth understanding - Silicon Canals
Generational differences in work ethic reflect changing economic realities and expectations around fulfillment and mental health in the workplace.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoThere's a particular grief that hits when your parent asks you for help with something they used to do effortlessly, and neither of you acknowledges what just shifted. You both pretend it's a preference. It's not a preference. It's the first visible transfer of authority that neither of you consented to. - Silicon Canals
Aging parents often disguise their need for help as preference, masking the underlying shift in the parent-child power dynamic.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
4 weeks agoI raised my kids the way my father raised me - present for the big moments and missing for the small ones - and now I watch my son doing the same thing and don't know how to speak without saying everything at once - Silicon Canals
Generational patterns of prioritizing work over family relationships perpetuate through modeling, creating cycles that are difficult to break without conscious awareness and intervention.
Careers
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoI was always the reliable one - the one who showed up, remembered, rearranged, and absorbed - and it took me until 58 to wonder whether anyone would have come looking if I'd stopped - Silicon Canals
Being the reliable one can lead to personal neglect and invisibility in relationships.
fromBusiness Insider
2 months agoI spent years balancing work and family. At 49, I'm finally focusing on my career while my husband handles the household labor.
I've always worked, even after having children, but like many women, I squeezed myself around my husband, Neil, who was the breadwinner, working in the insurance industry in London. Between having our two daughters, who are now 22 and 18, I became a stay-at-home mom. I looked after the children and the house, and managed to shoehorn my own part-time career as a counsellor and therapist around that.
Women
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