#caregiving-for-adults
#caregiving-for-adults
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#mental-health #caregiving #family-dynamics #aging #relationships #parenting #retirement #identity #psychology
#retirement
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
4 hours agoThe emptiness many people feel after 70 isn't the absence of purpose - it's the absence of an audience, and those are completely different problems with completely different solutions - Silicon Canals
Retirement often leads to a loss of audience, not purpose, causing feelings of uselessness among retirees.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoNobody talks about the specific grief of watching your retired parent wander from room to room in a house that used to be chaos - not because they're sad, but because the structure that held their entire identity just became square footage - Silicon Canals
Retirement can lead to a loss of purpose for parents who defined themselves through their roles and responsibilities.
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoPsychologists explain that people who feel neglected in retirement aren't necessarily being ignored - they're experiencing the sudden absence of the role-based relationships that made them feel valued for forty years - Silicon Canals
Retirement can lead to feelings of invisibility and loss of identity as relationships formed at work fade away.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoI retired at 64 with a generous pension and a calendar full of plans - and by month three I was staring at my phone realizing I had nobody to call just to talk, not because I needed something - Silicon Canals
Retirement can lead to unexpected loneliness and a realization of the lack of genuine friendships built outside of work.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoI'm 66 and I woke up last Thursday and realized I couldn't name a single thing I was looking forward to - not because nothing good was happening but because I'd trained myself to find meaning in being needed and nobody needs me anymore - Silicon Canals
Finding purpose in being needed can lead to a loss of personal desires and identity after retirement.
Careers
fromSilicon Canals
16 hours agoI was always the reliable one - the one who showed up, remembered, rearranged, and absorbed - and it took me until 58 to wonder whether anyone would have come looking if I'd stopped - Silicon Canals
Being the reliable one can lead to personal neglect and invisibility in relationships.
#mental-health
NYC parents
fromCity Limits
3 hours agoOpinion: Fulfilling New York's Legal and Moral Obligation to Support Children's Behavioral Health
Children in New York's poorest areas face severe mental health care shortages, leading to increased risks of hospitalization and incarceration.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says boomers who learned to 'just get on with it' aren't emotionally stunted - they built a coping architecture that millennials are now paying therapists to reconstruct - Silicon Canals
UK spending on private therapy has risen over 40% in a decade, with millennials as the largest demographic seeking treatment for emotional issues.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says boomers who learned to 'just get on with it' aren't emotionally stunted - they built a coping architecture that millennials are now paying therapists to reconstruct - Silicon Canals
UK spending on private therapy has risen over 40% in a decade, with millennials as the largest demographic seeking treatment for emotional issues.
Real estate
fromSilicon Canals
7 hours agoNeuroscience reveals that the feeling of home isn't about geography or architecture. It's a nervous system state. People who never learned to feel safe in the presence of others carry a portable homelessness that no mortgage, renovation, or relocation has ever been shown to resolve. - Silicon Canals
Home is not just a physical space; it's about the ability of one's nervous system to settle in the presence of others.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says the reason older people stop caring isn't emotional withdrawal - it's that they've finally learned to distinguish between what actually matters and what they were only caring about out of social obligation - Silicon Canals
Older individuals prioritize emotional connections over superficial relationships as they age, focusing on what truly matters in their lives.
Retirement
fromLondon Business News | Londonlovesbusiness.com
9 hours agoControl and consequence: Retirement needs a rebrand that actually works - London Business News | Londonlovesbusiness.com
Retirement savings should focus on control and flexibility rather than obligation and caution to engage more individuals.
Women in technology
fromwww.theguardian.com
1 week agoIn defence of dropping dead: the burden of extended care for aged parents is a heavy new phenomenon | Lucinda Holdforth
Modern longevity presents both a hopeful narrative of progress and a burden of economic, social, and psychological challenges for individuals and society.
NYC parents
fromwww.businessinsider.com
1 week agoI started raising my grandson just a few months into my retirement. My wife and I want to give him a good life, but it's financially draining.
Martin Odum and his wife are raising their grandson Noah, who has spina bifida, after previously raising their granddaughter.
#happiness
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
21 hours agoPsychology suggests the adults most likely to spend their 60s and 70s in genuine contentment aren't the ones who achieved the most - they're the ones who stopped the earliest needing their life to mean something to anyone else, and that stopping, whenever it happened and for whatever reason, was the first day the actual life began - Silicon Canals
Happiness comes from being true to oneself rather than seeking validation from others.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoI'm 73 and my husband asked me what makes me happy and I gave him the answer I thought he wanted to hear - our kids, our grandkids, our home - but the real answer is I genuinely don't know anymore because I've spent forty years editing my joy to fit other people's expectations - Silicon Canals
Editing joy to fit others' expectations can lead to losing sight of what truly makes one happy.
#trauma
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 hours agoPsychology says the adults who seem the most indifferent aren't cynics - they've simply been disappointed so many times that their nervous system reclassified hope as a threat - Silicon Canals
Indifference may stem from a nervous system response to past trauma, where hope becomes associated with pain and disappointment.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology suggests the most reliable sign that someone had a difficult childhood isn't what they tell you about it - it's how startled they look when you are simply kind to them without a reason, as though kindness without a transaction attached is something the body recognizes as unusual before the mind has finished deciding what to do with it - Silicon Canals
Kindness can trigger confusion in those with a history of trauma due to learned survival responses from past experiences.
Medicine
fromwww.businessinsider.com
2 days agoI vibe coded an AI tool to help my mom fight stage 4 cancer. It helped us catch errors in her treatment and let her die with dignity.
Pratik Desai developed a tool to assist his mother in navigating Stage 4 duodenal adenocarcinoma using advanced coding and AI technology.
#loneliness
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
22 hours agoThere's a certain kind of loneliness that only hits after 60 - not the loneliness of being alone, but the loneliness of being with people who love the person you've always been and have no idea who you're becoming - Silicon Canals
Loneliness after sixty stems from being surrounded by people who see an outdated version of oneself, not from physical absence.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says the loneliness that arrives after 65 isn't an inevitable feature of aging - it's the accumulated result of every friendship that was allowed to thin, every phone call that was delayed, every invitation that wasn't extended, compounded quietly over decades until the social life that once maintained itself without effort requires more effort than it has ever required and more energy than is currently available - Silicon Canals
Loneliness often stems from a series of small decisions that weaken social connections over time.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoMost families have one person everyone loves but nobody genuinely listens to - and psychology says that person almost always knows exactly who they are, has known for decades, and long ago stopped hoping anyone else would figure it out - Silicon Canals
Family dynamics often lead to certain voices being unheard, creating an invisible hierarchy that affects communication and connection.
#emotional-health
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoI'm 66 and I spent forty years trying to stay positive through everything - and what I actually created was a life where nobody knew me well enough to notice when I was drowning - Silicon Canals
Staying positive can lead to hidden struggles and emotional isolation, as individuals often mask their true feelings to appear strong.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPeople who were always the strong one in the family often become the loneliest person in the room after 65. Every link must be real and accurate - Silicon Canals
Being the strong one in a family can lead to profound loneliness in later life due to a lack of emotional reciprocity.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
21 hours agoMy father became someone I dreaded visiting somewhere in his late 60s - not suddenly, not through any single thing, but through the slow accumulation of a bitterness I watched arrive like weather and settle into his personality as though it had always been there, and the hardest part was not the bitterness itself but the fact that I could see exactly where it had come from and could not find a way to say so without making it worse - Silicon Canals
Disappointment can transform identity, leading to bitterness when circumstances change beyond one's control.
#parenting
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
1 day agoI Once Thought Parents Were to Blame for What My Family Is Going Through. Now I Realize How Wrong I Was.
Focusing on one small change at a time can help manage chaos in a busy household.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoResearch suggests the 1960s and 70s produced adults who could self-soothe, entertain themselves, and tolerate boredom - not because their parents were wise but because their parents were simply elsewhere - Silicon Canals
Modern parenting emphasizes structured activities, contrasting sharply with past generations' unstructured play, which may have fostered resilience and independence in children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoResearch suggests the 1960s and 70s produced adults who could self-soothe, entertain themselves, and tolerate boredom - not because their parents were wise but because their parents were simply elsewhere - Silicon Canals
Modern parenting emphasizes structured activities, contrasting sharply with past generations' unstructured play, which may have fostered resilience and independence in children.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoThe hardest thing about being the calm one in a family is that your steadiness becomes load-bearing. Everyone leans on it, nobody asks what holds it up, and the day you finally crack, people don't comfort you. They panic. Because your collapse threatens the architecture, and the architecture was always more important than you were. - Silicon Canals
The calm family member often bears the burden of emotional labor, managing others' feelings while suppressing their own.
#aging
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoThe most painful thing about watching a parent age isn't the physical decline. It's the moment you catch them deferring to you on a decision they would have made without hesitation ten years ago, and you both feel the transfer of authority that neither of you agreed to. - Silicon Canals
The real challenge of aging parents lies in the subtle shifts of authority and uncertainty in their decision-making.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who slowly become unpleasant to be around as they get older didn't develop new flaws - they lost the motivation to manage the old ones, and the management, it turns out, was doing considerably more work than anyone around them understood while it was still running - Silicon Canals
People don't become worse with age; they simply stop managing their flaws as their energy to do so diminishes.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoThe hardest part of watching your parents age isn't the decline. It's the moment you realize you've become the adult in the room and nobody appointed you and there's no one above you anymore. - Silicon Canals
Watching parents age reveals uncomfortable truths and shifts the balance of power in family dynamics, leading to unexpected responsibilities and existential challenges.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoPsychology says the reason aging people feel like they don't matter isn't about what they've lost - it's that society defines mattering as productivity and visibility, and the moment you step outside those narrow roles, your value becomes invisible even to people who love you - Silicon Canals
Retirement and aging can lead to feelings of invisibility and worthlessness due to society's narrow definitions of productivity.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPsychology says people who become harder to be around as they get older aren't becoming more miserable - they're becoming less willing to absorb other people's discomfort at the expense of their own - Silicon Canals
Older adults prioritize emotionally meaningful relationships, leading to smaller social circles and active pruning of less fulfilling connections.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPsychology says the real reason being over 60 is so hard isn't aging itself - it's that modern culture has no framework for dignity without productivity, and once you stop producing economic value, you become socially invisible in a way that no amount of grandchildren or hobbies can fix - Silicon Canals
The hardest part of aging in the modern West is the cultural equation between productivity and personhood, not physical decline.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoNot everyone who avoids asking for help is proud. Some of them asked once, received it with a lecture attached, and learned that the cost of support was a small erosion of standing they could never quite earn back. - Silicon Canals
Asking for help can lead to unintended consequences that affect relationships and self-perception.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who mellow out as they get older aren't the ones who suffered less - they're the ones who decided, at some point and without always knowing they were deciding, that the suffering was going to make them more open rather than less, and that decision, remade daily in small ways that nobody notices, is the entire difference - Silicon Canals
Emotional responses to life's challenges can change over time, leading to greater peace and stability despite ongoing difficulties.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology suggests people who adopt their parents' bad traits as they get older aren't becoming their parents - they're reverting to the most deeply installed operating system they have, the one that was running before they were old enough to choose a different one, and stress, age, and the slow erosion of self-monitoring are simply the conditions under which it boots back up - Silicon Canals
Behavioral patterns from childhood can resurface under stress, revealing deep-rooted psychological templates formed from early experiences.
Retirement
fromBuzzFeed
4 weeks ago32 Older People Are Sharing The Issues They Face That Aren't Talked About Enough
Older Americans face overlooked challenges including disrespect from younger generations, lack of formal address etiquette, and senior women experiencing homelessness due to insufficient retirement savings and inflation.
US politics
fromFortune
1 month agoTens of millions of Americans care for loved ones up to 6 hours a day while working a job-and don't get any extra money for it | Fortune
Paid caregiving leave helps workers balance jobs and family as millions care for aging relatives, easing stress and preserving employment and benefits.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoMy parents are in their 60s and watching them begin to slow down is the first thing in my adult life that research can't help me process - Silicon Canals
Adult children experience role reversal with aging parents, navigating the emotional complexity of shifting from receiving guidance to providing support while preserving parental independence.
Public health
fromBuzzFeed
1 month ago20 Older People Are Sharing The Issues They Face That Aren't Talked About Enough
Older Americans face persistent, underreported problems including workplace ageism, mobility decline, inadequate women's health research, excessive telemarketing, and patronizing treatment.
fromBusiness Insider
1 month agoI'm raising my four-year-old granddaughter on my own in my 60s. I expect to work until I die.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Dorenne Simonson, 66, who is her granddaughter's kinship care provider in New Jersey. Simonson has parented her since she was two months old. This interview has been edited for length and clarity. I've always been in a situation where I had to spend whatever I made. There's no retirement account when you're single and raise five kids by yourself.
Parenting
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