"I skipped a meeting at the White House to be here because we know that you skipped school yesterday. I took a course through the Secret Service on forgery, and you think we're not gonna know that you forged your mom's signature to skip school?"
I probably figured this out in my late teens, but when I was a kid and my mom had to get a mammogram, she would bring my brother and me, and we would wait in the waiting room. The clinic was next to a Hooters, and I assumed the sign outside was for that.
He thought Australia (we're in England) was at least two days in front of us, so he thought he could travel, watch the cricket, and call home to tell us the results and bet without losing. Took nearly an hour to explain his errors and the 24-hour clock.