When Roles Swamp Our Identities

People naturally assume roles in social life, but roles can shrink a person’s complexity into a single dimension. Existential philosophy calls the loss of unique identity to a role “bad faith.” Reductive labels like “I am just a mother” or “I am just a drunk” treat behaviors and traits as all-defining and all-determining. These labels can also carry evaluative power, shaping how others judge and how a person judges themselves. A person may hold back from opportunities because the role narrative claims they would not fit in, leading to shame and negative self-evaluation. Even supportive comments can reinforce the reduction and keep the person confined.

"All of us assume roles in our lives; it is part of what it means to be a social creature. Some roles reduce our complexity to just one dimension. “Bad faith” is a term from existential philosophy that captures the loss of an unique identity to a role. There are ways to interrupt bad faith that involve noticing patterns."

"Whether a role is willingly and lovingly assumed and then validated, or if it is taken on without intention and meets with disapproval, doesn't matter in some important ways. Any role or identity can subsume and confine people, keeping them from flourishing. The problem with reductive labels: I am just a ____."

"A woman who does not work outside the home may say, I am just a mother. Someone who has long struggled with their drinking may claim, I am just a drunk. The “just a___” move reduces a person's complexity to a set of behaviors or traits that are taken as all-defining and all-determining. These roles and identities allegedly have huge explanatory power for those who inhabit them and for the rest of us. They also have evaluative power."

"Imagine the mother is really interested in becoming more involved with a volunteer organization. She holds herself back because, well, she's just a mother, and there probably will be others who are far more interesting, have successful careers, and have so much to offer. She's too ashamed to volunteer and so doesn't. The “just a mother” narrative explains how she reaches her decision, and it becomes the source of her own negative self-evaluation. A friend who “supports” her by saying, “You wouldn't have fit in,” aids and abets the mother's reduction of h"

Read at Psychology Today