The hidden power of grief rituals

"In Tana Toraja, a mountainous region of Sulawesi, Indonesia, villagers pour massive resources into funeral rituals: lavish feasts, ornate effigies and prized water buffaloes for sacrifice. I witnessed this funeral ritual in 2024 while accompanying scholar Melanie Nyhof on her fieldwork. Families were expected to stage funerals that matched the social standing of the dead, even if it meant selling land, taking out loans or calling on distant kin for help."

"In my own work of studying communal mourning rituals, I take part in ceremonies to see how they unfold. At one of the ceremonies I attended in Tana Toraja, hundreds gathered as gongs echoed through the valley. Guests were served meals over several days, dancers in bright headdresses performed for the crowd, and water buffalo - the most valuable gift a family can give - were led into the courtyard for sacrifice. Mourners described these acts as ways of honoring the deceased."

"In 2022, my colleagues and I surveyed more than 1,600 members of the British public a few days after Queen Elizabeth II's funeral - both those who had traveled to London to be part of the crowds, and others who had watched the ceremony live on television. Spectators reported intense grief and a connection with fellow mourners when they viewed the ceremony."

Villagers in Tana Toraja invest large material and social resources in funerals, including feasts, effigies and prized water buffalo sacrifices, often incurring debt to match social standing. Ceremonies draw hundreds, with prolonged meals, musical gongs, and public performances that publicly honor the deceased and signal family status. Comparable dynamics occur in urban and national contexts, where large funerals and broadcast ceremonies unite strangers in collective mourning. A 2022 survey of over 1,600 British respondents after Queen Elizabeth II's funeral found intense sadness and a strong sense of unity among spectators. Rituals function as powerful mechanisms for social bonding.

Read at The Conversation