"Only too often, our desire to grow is an indictment of who we are now. There can be an urgency and a striving to be a better person. It's even easier to take pride in an investment in personal improvement and refinement. The attachment to an individual upgrading carries a hope of finally attaining some measure of worth and the possibility of being lovable."
"There Is No Arrival A colleague once asked me if I believed the Buddha had arrived. The same question could be asked of Christ, Confucius, Mohammed, and other spiritual leaders. Following an extended pause, I said, "I believe the Buddha did arrive, as he deeply accepted that there is no arrival." It took my colleague a moment to understand that I wasn't playing some head game."
Insights derive from treating hundreds of clients seeking personal growth. Growth framed as an apprenticeship removes attachment to an imagined finish line and reduces self-condemnation. Many people pursue improvement with urgency or pride, treating development as proof of worth or lovability. Such attachments create a nuanced self-deprecation and can fuel endless improvement cycles that act as a psychological bypass toward imagined completion. Acceptance that there is no final arrival requires humility and courage. The practical choices are to abandon development, pretend arrival, or commit to ongoing apprenticeship that honors who one is now.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]