England attack's holiday fling might be the start of something more serious | Barney Ronay

"For most of its combined 142 overs, watching England's fourth Test victory in Melbourne felt like drifting in and out of a drunken sleep while trying and failing to follow the plot of a particularly gruelling action movie. Why is this car chase happening? Why is The Rock defusing a torpedo inside a collapsing Maya temple? Why are they running to the top of the nearest generic tall building for this final, final, final showdown? Wait. Will Jacks is playing?"

"Australian cricket has at least taken decisive action. It seems a collective policy decision has been made to categorise this as a game to be voided. The talk is of unacceptable grass. The curator Matt Page, whose name, in a confusing note of nominative non-determinism, basically means unresponsive surface, has been subjected to the equivalent of a congressional hearing. On social media Melbourne has been dismissed as a game no one actually won (England won by four wickets);"

"In the newspapers words such as unbefitting, ugly and meaningless have been tossed about. England's victory has been deemed an occasion never to be spoken of again, not even for Josh Tongue, who probably wants to talk about it quite a lot. In the process Australian cricket has arrived at its own version of England's much-derided chat about moral victories in 2023. Here we have something new: the immoral victory."

Watching England's fourth Test victory in Melbourne often felt disorienting and disconnected from coherent contest, with action compared to a chaotic action movie. Play unfolded across 142 overs on a badly prepared surface described as furry and unacceptable. Cricket Australia and curator Matt Page faced sharp criticism and intense scrutiny over the playing surface. Social media and newspapers dismissed the match as unbefitting, ugly and meaningless despite England winning by four wickets. Observers coined the term "immoral victory" to describe a win that many felt should be voided. The result remained a notable overseas success for England amid debate about sporting and financial consequences.

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