"Hello, and welcome back to the Trash Report! Happy Thanksgiving week! Let me start this column with something I'm thankful for, which is that today's children's aren't fed a lot of horseshit about Pilgrims and colonialism, so I don't have to decorate the house for this holiday, which is one less thing to deal with. This has been a hilarious news week for a change, so let's get to it!"
"I'd wager her next move is some Rogan-esque politically confusing podcast that makes her extremely rich(er), but who knows with that weird-o. AOC pointed out that her resignation will take effect just one or two days after she will be vested in her pension, meaning that this woman will be supported by taxpayers until her death no matter what. This has grift written all over it."
"In other head-scratching news, socialist darling NYC Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani met with Trump on Friday and charmed the orange straight off his skin. Seriously, have you ever seen that man look at Elon Musk, or JD Vance, or one of his own sons, with a smile like that? Trump even warmly accepted Mamdani c alling him a fascist to his face. Chuck Schumer could never because Chuck Schumer isn't young, hot, and popular."
An opening note expresses relief that modern children are less exposed to romanticized Pilgrim narratives, removing pressure to decorate for Thanksgiving. Marjorie Taylor Greene announced she will resign from Congress effective January 5, 2026, and her resignation is timed to vest her taxpayer-funded pension shortly thereafter. Commentary calls the move grift and notes Greene rose by harassing teenage mass-shooting victims; speculation includes a future Rogan-style podcast to monetize her profile. NYC Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani met with Donald Trump, openly called him a fascist, and reportedly charmed him during the encounter. Elon Musk is training his AI Grok to boast, and users have prompted vulgar claims.
Read at Portland Mercury
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]