I was laid off from USAID a year ago. I still feel survivor's guilt.

"I've had a long and winding career, and my route into working at USAID was circuitous. In the early 2000s, I was an academic scientist. I went on to work at a climate-change think tank, then in middle management at a laboratory. I took some years out to consult and build a real-estate portfolio, with the aim of generating passive income."

"I was 58 at the time. A year on from being laid off, I'm happy with how things have turned out for me: I work for an exceptional organization with great colleagues. But, every so often, when I talk to a former colleague or see one of their LinkedIn posts, I start to feel survivor's guilt. I ask myself: Why was I so lucky?"

Jay Gulledge lost his job in 2025 when the US Agency for International Development was dismantled during the Trump administration. He was 58 and had expected USAID to be the final chapter of his career. Gulledge's career included roles as an academic scientist, positions at a climate-change think tank and a laboratory, consulting, and building a real-estate portfolio for passive income. In his 50s he entered international development through an AAAS fellowship, joining USAID in September 2022 and later serving as a climate-change integration adviser on a two-year direct-hire contract. A year after the layoff he secured a meaningful director-level role but feels survivor's guilt as many former colleagues remain unemployed.

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