"The U.S. Mint estimates that there are 300 billion pennies in circulation-which, if true, means that the Milky Way galaxy contains about three times more American pennies than stars. How, you ask, could the plan for 300,000,000,000 coins be "nothing"? The Mint, you say, issued a formal press release about striking the final cents. Surely, you insist, that implies some sort of strategy, or at least is evidence of logical human thought and action?"
"Wow-you are talking like a baby angel raised by puppies in a beachfront palace with no right angles, who has never attempted to wrench useful information out of a government agency's public-affairs officer. I would give anything to spend 30 narcotic minutes in your gumdrop world. Let me take your round little face between my hands and squeeze it tight as I scream this:"
"That's not how things work with pennies. It is my miserable fate to possess more miscellaneous information about U.S. one-cent coins than, possibly, any other person on this planet. This is not a boast. The information I command is data no one without a neurodevelopmental disorder would ever yearn to know; it is a body of knowledge with no practical use for anyone. I contracted this condition last year, as I spent several months attemp"
The United States has announced an immediate end to minting one-cent coins. No official plan exists for collecting, redeeming, or disposing of the estimated 300 billion pennies in circulation. Pennies are described as ubiquitous in take-a-penny trays, cash registers, couch cushions, children's coin purses, and beverage cups. A formal U.S. Mint press release declared the final striking of cents but offered no substantive strategy or guidance. Government public-affairs communications are portrayed as unhelpful and uninformative. An individual reports possessing unusually extensive and largely impractical knowledge about U.S. one-cent coins acquired through months of focused research.
Read at The Atlantic
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