"the president (James Austin Johnson) addresses the nation from the Oval Office, bragging about his favorite Christmas present: My very own somebody else's Nobel prize and in my stocking: Maduro we did a reverse Santa on him. Joined by cabinet members Little Marco Rubio (Marcello Hernandez) and JD Vance (Jeremy Culhane, taking over for departed cast member Bowen Yang), who are all trying to help me do so many legal-ish things to try to get people to stop talking about Epstein."
"He boots Rubio and Vance off the stage to make way first for DHS head and Secretary of War on America Kristi Noem (Ashley Padilla), who gives a shoutout to my hair and makeup team who absolutely hate me and makes a plea for people currently wearing a Punisher T-shirt to grab a gun and join ICE. She's followed by Secretary of War on world Pete Hegseth (Colin Jost),"
"Fresh off the massive pop culture event that was the Stranger Things finale, actor Finn Wolfhard hosts for the first time. The young actor talks about what it was like having 400 million people watch me go through puberty, before moving into a jazzy, spoken-word performance about how he's now a man, showing off his single facial hair and taking his first sip of alcohol (which he immediately spits into the face of Hernandez)."
SNL returned from the holiday hiatus with a cold open centered on President Trump, played by James Austin Johnson, addressing the nation from the Oval Office. Trump brags about a "somebody else's Nobel prize" and jokes about Maduro in his stocking while cabinet members propose legal-ish schemes to distract from Epstein. Cabinet characters include Little Marco Rubio (Marcello Hernandez) and JD Vance (Jeremy Culhane), and their plans range from invading Cuba to imposing new tariffs and targeting Greenland. Kristi Noem urges Punisher-T-shirt wearers to join ICE, and Pete Hegseth, portrayed by Colin Jost, boasts about Venezuela and threatens Iran while guzzling creatine. The cold open relies on current cast members and features Jost stealing the scene as an aggressive Hegseth. Finn Wolfhard hosts for the first time, riffing on his Stranger Things fame and delivering a jazzy spoken-word bit about puberty and taking his first sip of alcohol.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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