Jimmy Kimmel Jokes that His Political Turmoil Cost Disney "Billions" This Year

""I cost our company a lot of money this year. Billions," he joked to the advertisers in the crowd. "It is very possible that no employee in the history of any company has cost their employer more. Hiring me 24 years ago, just from a purely mathematical standpoint, was the worst personnel decision that Disney Corporation has ever made. Not even the captain of the Exxon Valdez did more damage.""

"While he admitted that Jimmy Kimmel Live has enjoyed a 25% ratings spike over the past year with viewers 18-49, "largely thanks to our partners in Washington," his numbers are still low compared to the golden age of late night: "If Johnny Carson woke up one day with my ratings, he'd have gone straight under the sink and [drank] all the Draino he found there.""

"He then proceeded to hype up Disney's upcoming broadcast of the Super Bowl: "This will be the first Super Bowl on ABC in 20 years and we are going to milk the bejesus out of it. We are going to spend the whole year promoting the already most popular thing on Earth. And as if the country isn't already divided enough, we put the game on Valentine's Day, just to be dicks.""

""Let me tell you what, the halftime show this year is going to be the whitest shit you've ever seen. Goodbye, Bad Bunny. Welcome back, O-Town." The rest of Kimmel's time on stage was spent mocking both the new shows coming from other networks and noting the upcoming departure of Stephen Colbert from late night."

Jimmy Kimmel delivered a roast at the Disney upfronts, mixing jokes about his own dramatic year with commentary on the TV business. He claimed he cost his company billions and framed his hiring as the worst personnel decision in Disney history. He sent Guillermo into the audience to ask attendees to contribute extra money. Kimmel referenced a ratings increase for Jimmy Kimmel Live among viewers 18–49, while contrasting current performance with the late-night era of Johnny Carson. He promoted Disney’s upcoming ABC Super Bowl broadcast, emphasizing extensive promotion and the game’s placement on Valentine’s Day. He also mocked other networks’ new shows and noted Stephen Colbert’s upcoming departure.

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