"I’m a cis woman in her 30s who lives on the East Coast. I’ve been in an LTR with the same cis man for 12 years. No issues there at all! But we are considering opening up our relationship and I have a question about my sexuality. Basically, I’m attracted to people with penises. PIV is only sex that really arouses me-the only kind of sex I like to have or fantasize about - although I do enjoy everything that leads up to it."
"So, although I am attracted to people regardless of what they look like, if I were to hook up with someone who didn’t have a penis, I would be disappointed. So, what am I since not all people with penises are men? I ask because I don’t want to use a label on hook-up apps that’s transphobic in any way. I’m mostly attracted to people with penises, but I want non-binary people with dicks to slide into my DMs too."
"So, am I just straight? It seems some people think attraction and sexuality are separate from genitalia and anything else is transphobic, but for me, it’s the opposite. Dick or bust. I’ve also never been on a dating app, so I am not sure if classifying myself as straight would still leave me visible to non-binary folx looking for women. Maybe that’s true, and finding a nuanced label doesn’t really matter."
"Limits About Bodies Expressed Lovingly & Sensitively I hooked up with two women during group sex and I liked their breasts and kissing them, but I quickly realized I do not find vaginas sexy at all."
A cis woman in a long-term relationship considers opening it and asks how to label her sexuality. She is aroused by people with penises and prefers PIV, while enjoying foreplay but feeling disappointed by partners without penises. She also wants non-binary people with penises to be included in her dating preferences. She wonders whether focusing on genitalia makes her transphobic or whether it simply reflects her attraction. She notes that some people separate attraction from genitalia, while she experiences the opposite. She also describes liking breasts and kissing women during group sex but not finding vaginas sexy. She seeks a nuanced term and guidance on visibility on dating apps.
#sexuality-labels #genital-preference #dating-apps #trans-inclusive-attraction #long-term-relationship-opening
Read at Portland Mercury
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