"People don't need an identity to justify their current preferences. And people don't need an identity to accept that what they do or want is normal. I'd rather they decide that 'normal' is irrelevant. That would be real growth."
"She doesn't need to decide this. She only needs to decide if she wants sex with a particular person at a particular time. And she can give herself permission to fantasize about sex with absolutely anyone, without deciding who she is or what erotic team she belongs to."
"Many therapists say that labels such as 'bisexual,' 'asexual,' and 'demisexual' give people permission to (finally) be who they are. But I say they're an inefficient route to self-acceptance-and are ultimately more limiting than freeing."
Therapists frequently ask how to help patients determine their sexual identity, but this approach addresses the wrong question. Sexual identity labels like bisexual, asexual, and demisexual, while seemingly liberating, actually limit self-acceptance rather than enhance it. People don't require identity labels to justify their preferences or to feel normal. Instead, therapists should help patients validate their desires without reassurance, encouraging them to recognize that normalcy itself is irrelevant. The goal is genuine self-acceptance through questioning specific attractions and desires rather than fitting into predetermined categories. Patients benefit from permission to explore fantasies and preferences without committing to identity labels that may ultimately prove restrictive.
Read at Psychology Today
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