"Ever notice how some people's eyes light up when they talk about their latest investment, but glaze over when you mention a friend going through a tough time? I've been thinking about this lately, especially after a conversation with someone I used to consider close. They spent thirty minutes detailing their portfolio gains but couldn't spare five minutes to ask about my mother's surgery. It was one of those moments where you suddenly see someone clearly, like adjusting the focus on a camera lens."
"They remember exactly when they picked up the coffee tab three months ago, and they'll find a way to mention it. Every interaction becomes transactional, like they're running an invisible spreadsheet in their head. I once had a friend who would literally text me reminders about things she'd done for me. "Remember when I drove you to the airport?" she'd message, right before asking for something. The friendship felt more like a business arrangement than a genuine connection."
Some people prioritize financial gain and status over interpersonal care, often showing excitement about investments while ignoring others' personal crises. They keep mental scorecards of favors, converting acts of kindness into debts and reminders. Conversations become assessments of usefulness, with posture and tone shifting when potential advantage appears. Friendships with these patterns feel transactional, resembling business arrangements more than genuine bonds. Constant tallying and opportunistic networking exhaust and alienate those on the receiving end. Repeated encounters across many cases reveal subtle, consistent signals that expose such priorities and lead to distancing or severed relationships.
Read at Silicon Canals
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