Why U.S. Politics Looks Like a Bad Marriage

"Psychologist John Gottman identified four communication patterns so damaging to a relationship that he called them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling predict divorce with over 90 percent accuracy. These same patterns now characterize much of our political discourse, doing real damage to our sense of 'us' as a country."

"Over the past decade, a style of politics that is loud, angry, and relentlessly personal has demonstrated that permanent combat, public humiliation, and grievance can be politically effective. Once that style proved successful, it spread."

"Gottman's first horseman is criticism. He draws a clear distinction between a complaint and a criticism. A complaint targets behavior; criticism attacks character. 'I'm upset you didn't call' is a complaint. 'You're selfish and never think of anyone but yourself' is criticism."

The United States' political climate has evolved into one characterized by personal attacks and hostility, mirroring damaging communication patterns identified by psychologist John Gottman. These patterns, known as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, include criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, which predict relationship breakdowns. Political discourse has shifted from policy disagreements to character assassinations, creating a culture of permanent combat and public humiliation. This shift not only polarizes opinions but also establishes a hierarchy of human value, threatening the sense of unity within the country.

Read at Psychology Today