Heteropessimism names regret and hopelessness about straight relationships and often manifests as performative disaffiliation while people continue heterosexual dating. A widening political-gender divide makes dating conflicts increasingly ideological rather than purely interpersonal. Persistent unequal emotional and domestic labor leads many relationships to feel transactional rather than reciprocal. Swiping culture and app-driven interactions produce 'dating burnout' and fatigue. Perceived inequality, political strife, and platform-driven fatigue contribute to disillusionment with heterosexual intimacy and shape a psychological orientation that frames dating as dispiriting for some people.
If you've scrolled through social media lately, you've likely seen sentiments like these being expressed. Part joke, part truth; they capture a broader cultural mood that some are calling heteropessimism. First coined by Asa Seresin in 2019, heteropessimism doesn't mean people actually abandon heterosexuality. Instead, it describes a performative disaffiliation from its ideals. Heteropessimists have a dislike of straight dating even while participating in it.
A Growing Political-Gender Divide: Surveys show a widening ideological gap between men and women, with the former being much more likely to consider voting for the far right than the latter. That mismatch makes challenges in dating less about intimacy and chemistry and more about clashing worldviews. A History of Inequality: Research continues to show that women shoulder disproportionate emotional and domestic work, even in dual-income households. The result? Relationships often feel less like partnerships and more like unequal transactions.
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