Why Are Some People Glad When Their Partner Has a Lover?

"" The one that is not jealous is not in love." - Saint Augustine" "For it is in giving that we receive." - Francis of Assisi Romantic jealousy arises from the fear of losing someone perceived as "yours" to another. It is often criticized for treating a partner as property. In contrast, compersion-the joy one feels when their partner experiences pleasure with someone else-is frequently dismissed as unnatural, challenging traditional ideals of romantic love. Which emotion should prevail?"

"At the heart of lies jealousy, where exclusivity is central. At the heart of consensual non-monogamy (CNM) lies compersion, where uniqueness is key. Romantic exclusivity is typically defined in negative terms- not permitting, restricting. Romantic uniqueness, however, is defined positively- being different in a way that makes someone special and worthy of note. Jealousy focuses on threats to our exclusive position in a relationship."

"Romantic jealousy reflects the fear of losing someone perceived as "yours." Moderate jealousy can reflect both love and self-love and may support relationship stability. Compersion, joy in a partner's pleasure with another, is often misunderstood but can be enriching. Consensual non-monogamous relationships often show similar satisfaction levels to monogamous ones. Jealousy and Romantic Exclusivity " I hate jealousy, I hate possessiveness. I'm nobody's possession." - Olga Kurylenko"

Jealousy originates from fear of losing someone regarded as "yours" and often carries critiques of possessiveness. Moderate jealousy can signal both love and self-regard and may promote relationship stability in some contexts. Compersion denotes joy at a partner's pleasure with others and challenges conventional exclusivity-based ideals. Consensual non-monogamous relationships can emphasize uniqueness rather than restriction and often show similar satisfaction to monogamous ones. Emotions are partial and directed toward specific individuals, so exclusivity can enhance perceived value while alternatives like compersion recast uniqueness positively rather than negatively.

Read at Psychology Today