"A hallmark of BDSM is the use of "safe words," terms that one partner may invoke at any time to guide the other, for example, the words "yellow" and "red" as in traffic lights. If one BDSM player says "yellow," the two people immediately suspend play to discuss why one called for the pause. Perhaps spanking was too forceful, or not forceful enough. Perhaps restraints were too tight, or too loose. Whatever the reason, saying "yellow" creates space for negotiation."
"If one says "red," everything comes to an immediate dead stop. Negotiations ensue, and the person who said "red" then decides if play may continue with changes, or if the session is over. Safe words acknowledge that, to keep everyone happy and safe from physical and psychological harm, BDSM play requires ongoing negotiations. Lovers not involved in BDSM may also find safe words helpful."
Many couples find sexual details difficult to discuss, and studies show that when sex causes women pain only about half report it to their partners, usually only when pain is severe. Women often report that men do not discuss their feelings, indicating broader avoidance of sexual-detail conversations. BDSM offers a practical model: partners use safe words such as "yellow" to pause and negotiate and "red" to stop immediately, creating space to adjust intensity or end a session. Detailed pre-play negotiation aims to prevent escalation to safe-word interventions. Non-BDSM partners can adopt safe words to encourage clearer sexual communication, consent, and ongoing negotiation.
Read at Psychology Today
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