Unbalanced

"I'm absorbing a lot of criticism and I'm not really allowed to give my own. I'm a sounding board for everyone's emotions but I need to be reserved in my own until I know how you're going to feel about them. I'm pushing forward and supporting you whenever and however I can. I barely even have my own thoughts unless you say it's okay."

"I have to mask my feelings of discomfort or fear for the safety of myself and those around us if those feelings are not convenient to you. As busy as we all must be in the first hour you wake up, I'm not allowed to get out of bed before you to have time to process my thoughts and feelings. What's my version of a "mental load"?"

A man acknowledges that his partner manages most household executive tasks while he resists being labeled useless because of his gender. He reports absorbing criticism and being discouraged from voicing his own concerns. He often serves as an emotional sounding board yet withholds his feelings until he can predict others' reactions. He actively supports others while sacrificing personal thought space and masking discomfort or fear for others' perceived convenience. He lacks time to process emotions privately and seeks a term equivalent to 'mental load' for his experience.

Read at Portland Mercury