"As the recipient of an unwanted gift, is it necessary to pretend you like it? This is what most of us are trained to do as children; for some it was our first experience of being instructed to lie. Thank you, I might have said to my grandmother, for this frilly, itchy lace-trimmed dress identical to the one you gave my sister. I love it."
"She asked me what I thought of it and I said it was beautiful. It was it is but it wasn't something I'd have chosen for myself. It wasn't my style and I didn't know how to say this politely. I hung it in the guest bedroom but, when I moved house and had to downsize, I took it to an op shop several suburbs away, thinking I was safe in my subterfuge."
People are trained from childhood to feign appreciation for unwanted gifts, prompting awkwardness and shame. Unwanted items range from itchy dresses and novelty salt-and-pepper shakers to offensive perfumes and ugly homewares. Recipients face choices: keep, regift, donate to op shops, or sell privately, each carrying risk of discovery and embarrassment. Anecdotes illustrate consequences: a donated painting was recognized and reclaimed by its artist, causing acute mortification; a Facebook Marketplace listing exposed a seller to the original giver. The emotional cost of polite dishonesty includes anxiety, social awkwardness, and the logistical dilemma of disposing of unsuitable presents.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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