"I recognized it in my gut probably the second that he asked me to marry him, but I wasn't brave enough to throw everything upside down at that point. We were living together, and I had no friends, family, or anyone nearby. I was totally alone. This was my only person. Right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy, fair or not-we often ask a lot of questions about our significant other to help us determine if they are "the one.""
"In our haste to find the right person, or our rush to get married, or even the excitement of new love, we can sometimes focus so much on the life plan that we forget, neglect, or even avoid checking on ourselves. I conducted dozens of dissertation interviews with people who experienced a broken engagement, from shortly after saying yes to the day of their wedding rehearsal."
Patterns from broken engagements show common precursors to dissolution, including entering relationships from loneliness, rebounds, or life transitions without a solid personal foundation. Asking how the relationship began, why each partner wants deeper commitment, and who will provide support clarifies readiness for engagement or marriage. Sliding passively into cohabitation or engagement often masks unresolved personal needs and external isolation. Actively deciding to commit, alongside healthy individual stability and social support, increases the chance of building a durable future together. Love alone may not compensate for lack of self-sufficiency, emotional resources, or clear intentionality about partnership.
Read at Psychology Today
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