"It took me a while to realise that actually, the harshness of the banter was a form of intimacy. Men opening up is a really good thing for lots of men. But I think there's also a lot of people who end up feeling stigmatised or even like personal failures because they're not able to or not willing to."
"He says he found that, among this group, working silently together was an important part of companionship and did not have to be bettered. We should be celebrating and valuing that on its own terms."
Josh Halliday, a 37-year-old Guardian editor, reflects on his long-standing friendships with two close friends, noting their interactions remain largely surface-level and football-focused despite 15-16 years of connection. He questions whether men must open up emotionally to feel close. Anthropology professor Thomas Yarrow offers perspective, explaining that banter can function as a form of intimacy among men. Yarrow emphasizes that while emotional openness benefits many men, others feel stigmatized for preferring alternative forms of connection. He highlights that working silently together and shared activities constitute valid companionship that shouldn't be devalued. This challenges assumptions that meaningful male friendships require vulnerability and personal disclosure.
#male-friendships #emotional-intimacy #banter-and-connection #masculinity-and-vulnerability #alternative-forms-of-companionship
Read at www.theguardian.com
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