"Imagine this: you've just started dating someone new, and they're showering you with attention. Good morning texts arrive like clockwork. They remember every little thing you mention. They're planning romantic dates weeks in advance and telling you how special you are. Your friends are thrilled for you, saying things like "Finally, someone who knows how to treat you right!" But here's where things get complicated."
"They text you throughout the day, plan thoughtful surprises, and make you feel like the center of their universe. In a dating landscape filled with ghosting and mixed signals, this level of attention feels refreshing, even intoxicating. But here's what took me years and some serious therapy to understand: healthy relationships rarely start at full throttle. Think about your closest friendships. Did they begin with someone declaring you their best friend after hanging out twice? Probably not."
Intense early attention in dating—constant texts, elaborate surprises, and rapid declarations of future devotion—can feel refreshing after experiences with emotional unavailability. Such instant intensity often bypasses the gradual getting-to-know-you phase that builds durable bonds. Healthy connections typically develop slowly while both people maintain independent lives and boundaries. Rapid declarations of closeness and relentless integration can signal manipulative or unhealthy motives rather than genuine compatibility. Personal experiences show that what seems like a fairytale at first can later reveal controlling patterns, requiring reflection and sometimes professional help to unpack and recover a clearer sense of healthy relationship dynamics.
Read at Silicon Canals
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