"The Cognitive Scale: This non-relational scale assesses traits and achievements as they stand on their own, such as sense of humor, wealth, beauty, or social status. It is relatively straightforward (e.g., rating from 1 to 10), easy to use, and generally undisputed. The Evaluative Scale: This scale judges the person's suitability for us (e.g., rating from 1 to 5). It is more complex because it depends on personal and environmental factors that are not fully known (Ben-Ze'ev, 2025)."
"This man views his wife as very kind (likely 9/10 on the cognitive scale), but less wise and attractive (perhaps 5/10 each). On the evaluative scale, he assigns kindness the highest weight (5/5), while wisdom and attractiveness matter less (around 2/5 each). Objectively, her wisdom and appearance might score closer to 3/10, yet these cognitive deficiencies do not diminish his profound love-because suitability matters most."
Choosing a romantic partner requires judging both stand-alone traits and fit with oneself. Two central scales help: a cognitive scale rates non-relational traits and achievements (humor, wealth, beauty, status), while an evaluative scale measures personal suitability. The cognitive scale is straightforward and comparable; the evaluative scale depends on individual and environmental factors and is more complex. People tend to prioritize relational characteristics such as kindness and compatibility over non-relational attributes, and suitability often sustains deep love even when cognitive scores for attractiveness or wisdom are lower.
Read at Psychology Today
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