Should You Speak Up or Let It Go?

"Your friend made a joke that hurt your feelings. Your partner ignored you after you came home from a hard day at work. Your mom said something critical about your parenting. A colleague insisted on chairing a committee that you were next in line to lead. When these upsetting behaviors happen, you have a choice. Should you say something about it or let it go? How do we decide whether an issue is worth bringing up?"

"Social confrontation involves a discussion about a situation or behavior you think is problematic (Newell & Stutman, 1989). Having a conversation could allow people to (re)align their expectations of one another for the future, but it comes with potential costs. Sometimes people avoid raising an issue because they feel that the problem isn't that important, they worry that their self-image or the relationship would suffer, or they feel the topic is just too hard to discuss."

People often face everyday slights and must choose whether to address them or let them go. Social confrontation entails discussing behaviors seen as problematic and can realign expectations but also carries personal and relational costs. People forgo raising issues when they judge them unimportant, fear harm to self-image or relationships, or find the topic difficult to discuss. Cultural norms and valuing harmony can promote avoidance. If an individual can reframe the event and move on without lingering resentment, avoiding confrontation can be acceptable. Habitual avoidance, however, becomes problematic when used as a default strategy.

Read at Psychology Today