"Most importantly: I'm not planning to have kids. He knows that but he wants them. Do I cut it off or let it run its course? Allowing someone to live in hope is fine... so long as there's hope. Allowing someone to live in false hope by making vague statements that could be interpreted in more than one way... that's selfish and manipulative."
"Music mogul David Geffen was in his eighties when he met his husband David Armstrong on seekingarrangements.com ("the premier dating site for success-minded singles") two years ago. Geffen and Armstrong are now getting divorced. Armistead Maupin was in his seventies when he met his husband Christopher Turner on daddyhunt.com ("where you never have to lie about your age to meet other men") eleven years ago. Armistead and Christopher are still together."
A 34-year-old woman has spent three years with a man who wants children while she does not, emphasizing the need to state 'not planning' versus 'never' clearly to avoid giving false hope. Placing quotation marks around 'wife' may imply a marriage in name only or an attempt to suggest that status, but it does not confirm an open marriage or trustworthiness. An 87-year-old seeking gay partners in Olympia is advised to try age-oriented online platforms, with examples of older men finding partners on seekingarrangements.com and daddyhunt.com yielding mixed outcomes. A long-term monogamous person asks for a term like 'monogamy virgin' for someone sexually experienced only with one partner.
Read at Portland Mercury
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