SAVAGE LOVE: Long Time!
Briefly

A mostly straight man in his early 20s has a new girlfriend who rejects his bondage kink and forbids him from being tied up outside the relationship. His bondage history includes half a dozen men and one woman who were kind and consensual partners. The girlfriend asked to see his bondage photos, and seeing them deeply upset her; she labels it abusive and fears predators. The man reports lifelong bondage fantasies and says he rarely orgasms without thinking about or being tied up. He worries that few women will accept his kink and considers whether to give it up or pretend to for the relationship.
I say "mostly straight" because I'm into bondage and finding men who wanted to tie me up was always easier than finding women who wanted to tie me up. But I met a girl at a party early this summer and she's beautiful and smart and really into me. But she isn't into bondage and she's not okay with me getting tied up outside our relationship.
She also hates thinking about me being "abused by predators." None of the half a dozen men and one woman who've tied me up since I became sexually active were "predators." If anything, they were extremely kind to me, and I've had nothing but good experiences. But seeing my bondage photos deeply upset my girlfriend. (She asked to see them when we "laid our kink cards on the table," which we did three months in, like you recommend.)
I know what you're going to tell me - break up with her - but there aren't lots of other girls lining up to date me. I'm tall and skinny and pretty in a twinky way that attracts male attention but seems to turn women off. (Gay men are disappointed when I tell them I'm straight, but at least they believe me. When I tell women I'm straight, they think I'm lying.)
Read at Portland Mercury
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