"Ever notice how some people's offers to help feel more like transactions than genuine kindness? They'll absolutely help you move that couch, but you'll hear about it for months. Or they'll cover your shift at work, then use it as leverage when they need something from you later. Growing up, I watched my father navigate thirty years in sales management, and he taught me something crucial: Genuine help doesn't keep score."
"But people who are mean underneath? They're running a mental spreadsheet of every favor, every gesture, waiting for the perfect moment to cash in. They make their "kindness" feel like a debt you never asked to incur. The really insidious part is how they frame it. "Remember when I helped you with that project?" becomes their favorite opener before asking for something unreasonable. They weaponize their past actions, turning what should have been kindness into emotional manipulation."
Some people present as helpful and supportive while actually seeking leverage. They offer favors that come with unspoken expectations, keep mental score, and later use past assistance as leverage for unreasonable requests. Such behavior leaves recipients feeling drained, diminished, and confused after interactions. These individuals often frame help as kindness while covertly tracking debts and weaponizing past actions to manipulate. They also present concern as a pretext for spreading gossip, disguising criticism as care. The tells are subtle but consistent: transactional help, resentful reminders of past favors, and feigned empathy that masks control or belittlement.
Read at Silicon Canals
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