"My childhood had a lot of moments of taking a brand new car to the food bank, or her having vacation money but not being able to afford my pediatrician. She can't be reasoned with and my dad never stood up to her and never will. As an adult, I've kept them in my life with intense boundaries. I never give or loan money to them-ever."
"She chooses to pay their rent, at the expense of her own savings, which is her choice. But this year, my sister and her husband are having a baby and announced the rent payments will stop in February. She told me first, hoping I'd be willing to pay instead "so she could redirect money to the baby." I congratulated her for putting that money towards her child."
A grown child describes a parent with chronic overspending, gambling, and big credit-card debt that caused financial instability in childhood. The child has maintained strict boundaries and never gives money, while a sibling chose to subsidize parental rent at personal financial cost. The sibling plans to stop rent payments to redirect funds toward a baby and asked the child to take over the payments. The parents and sibling reacted with anger and guilt. The recommended response is to uphold existing boundaries, avoid providing unaffordable support, and accept that the sibling's estrangement is her choice.
Read at Slate Magazine
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