"I am my parents' only child and only geographically-nearby relative. They're healthy, but past 70. They've aired the idea of adding my name to their bank account in case of medical emergency or caretaking needs, but there's a problem. Fifteen years ago, for gender reasons, I legally changed my name. I never told them this, even though they're theoretically OK with transness, because I didn't want to deal with endless lectures about how I could just be gender-non-conforming and how transition is so drastic."
"All my IDs are in my new name, and I dread showing ID to be added to their account and the new name being on their bank statements. I do have a bank account at their bank that I've never updated the name on; can I use my debit card as ID? Is there some plausible reason to refuse being added to their account?"
An only child lives near elderly parents who propose adding the child to their bank account for emergencies and caregiving. The child legally changed names for gender reasons and fears showing IDs that reveal their new name. A prior surgery was explained as back-pain reduction. Banks generally require government-issued identification to add joint account holders. A debit card is unlikely to suffice as ID. The legal name will be recorded by the bank and may show on statements, potentially outing the child to parents. An LGBTQ-supportive financial advisor can help identify workarounds and safer options.
Read at Slate Magazine
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]