"Our culture often throws statements around about people being good at sex or bad at sex, but the reality is that a person's enjoyment of another's technique is extremely subjective. OK, yes, I can think of a couple of approaches which, despite two decades of extensive discussion and reading on the subject of sex, I've never heard a person speak of in any tone except derision. But it's really rare."
"The trouble is, he actually isn't very good at all-or at least not for me, because it never feels right. Something is off, and there's not enough friction. I usually just feel like I'm waiting until it's over so we can get to the main event. He really seems to think I love it too-and now I feel terrible about potentially having to come clean."
A partner's confidence or reputation at sex does not guarantee pleasure for everyone. Personal enjoyment of another's sexual technique varies widely and should be treated as an individual preference. A clear guiding principle is acknowledging when something works "not for me." Cultural narratives about being objectively good or bad at sex are misleading. Rare exceptions exist where particular techniques earn universal derision, but most differences come down to mismatched preferences. Addressing the issue can include expressing regret or embarrassment about delaying the conversation and offering concrete adjustments, such as asking for more friction, to improve the experience.
Read at Slate Magazine
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]