"I've been honest with him since the start of our relationship that I'm not interested in being a parent. I find kids really emotionally draining to deal with because they require so much attention and maintenance. Maybe I should never have started dating him because of this, but if it weren't for his daughter he'd be the complete package. I'm OK at dealing with the kid; she likes me and I've babysat a few times, as have my roommates."
"He can't really afford an actual babysitter and is really relying on me and various friends to help watch her whenever he has to work or something comes up. (For instance, today school was canceled, so she was bounced between friends on campus until he was out of class.) When he asks me to watch her I feel like I can't reasonably say no."
A 21-year-old college student has dated her boyfriend for two years; he has a five-year-old daughter he and his parents raised. The daughter moved in full time after he moved off campus, and childcare duties frequently fall on him, friends, and the girlfriend. The girlfriend stated from the start that she does not want to be a parent and finds children emotionally draining and high maintenance. She can babysit and the child likes her, but she resents being relied on as an informal caregiver and worries about losing youthful freedom and personal time.
Read at Slate Magazine
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