"I am a medical student in my 30s. I live with my boyfriend, "John," who is a registered nurse. Neither of us have student loans or debt other than our credit card. My father still helps me with expenses-not a lot, but I have always had an "allowance." John pays for all the house expenses, as I don't really "work." I do part-time side jobs, but I do pay"
"We talk about marriage all the time, and once I work in a hospital, I know I will be making the same or more than him. But there's a problem. He spends a lot. By a lot, I mean he is OK with spending $100 or more on a pair of shoes twice a month. Or a $300 watch. While I do know that this is normal spending, I am stingy."
"Dear Save Every Buck, When we marry, I would like to keep our money semi-separate. He always complains about spending too much and wanting to save more, and he has a big savings. I do not. He makes me try to find ways to save more money, get cheaper house items, etc, while he doesn't cut costs on his personal expenses. And in the long run I do not want to argue about his spending versus me being a cheapo."
A medical student in her 30s lives with her boyfriend, a registered nurse, who covers all household expenses while she does part-time work, pays groceries, and receives some parental financial support. The boyfriend spends freely on personal items and urges her to save, while she identifies as frugal and lacks savings. She wants semi-separate finances after marriage to avoid conflicts over his discretionary spending and her thriftiness. Unequal contributions and mixed expectations are creating resentment. The recommended step is to review recent bank and credit card statements together, document contributions, and negotiate a fair cost-sharing and account arrangement before marriage.
Read at Slate Magazine
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