"Go to your younger daughter's for Thanksgiving on Thursday, and tell her you would be delighted to plan another visit. Your Friday Thanksgivings were kindly done for your children's convenience, and surely you are not trying to claim them as an inviolable tradition. Miss Manners is guessing that the problem has to do with the other daughter's Thanksgiving. The younger one has probably not invited her sister's extended family."
"While acknowledging gratitude for being invited to quite a few social events, how do I decline an invitation to an event that I have little interest in attending? (Yes, I gladly attend special birthday celebrations and all 50th wedding anniversaries.) I'm sorry, I can't make it is honest, but does etiquette require valid reasons for absences? Such as, Sorry, I'm having a baby that day instead of, No thanks, I'm not interested."
For fifteen years, parents held Thanksgiving on Friday so married daughters could spend Thursday with their in-laws. The younger daughter now plans a Thursday Thanksgiving at her new home and said she would be too tired to attend the Friday dinner. The younger daughter and her husband requested one additional visit per year from the parents to emphasize family importance. Parents are advised to attend the younger daughter's Thursday celebration and to agree to schedule another visit, because the Friday gatherings were arranged for the children's convenience and are not inviolable. The younger daughter likely did not invite her sister's extended family, so double Thanksgivings are common and manageable.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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